BRUHstrology

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BRUHstrology is where the astral plane and corner store meet. With the expert help of astrologer Janelle Belgrave (and our resident BRUHstrologer, Bruce Goodwin II), CASSIUS decodes your horoscope so you don’t have to. Here’s what’s on deck for the week of July 22, 2018.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Aries

The Astrologer Says:

Live a little, Aries. This time of the year is a time of playfulness and good times as the sun lights up your House of Romance and Creativity. Do the things that light you up, say yes to invitations to go out to have fun. Consider this a much needed break after months of focusing on work and ladder climbing. Use the happiness you enjoy now to help you focus on finding new goals and associations that give you the same sense of satisfaction with less stress.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

It’s time for you to be out here LIVING. The snow has melted, the sundresses have arrived, and so have you. You should be doing things that make you happy, like going to an air-conditioned Barnes & Noble for the afternoon and reading an entire book then putting it back. Use that time to also set your intentions and figure out how you’re gonna take over the world this week.

Leo

The Astrologer Says:

Happy Birthday, Leo! This week, turn up your natural radiance to full blast as the sun enters your sign for the next 30 days. Watch how you present yourself during your season. Do you like the example you’re setting? Are you being the kind of person that could inspire others to greatness? Mercury retrograde in your sign will help you to review your thoughts about you the way you express yourself in the world.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

It’s your birthday season, so no one can tell you anything. In this celebratory time, realize the impact you have on your friends around you and make sure you’re leading by example. Please don’t have a gang full of losers.

Sagittarius

The Astrologer Says:

Disconnect from the matrix, Sadge. With so much commotion happening in the world, it’s easy for you to feel overwhelmed and scrambled when you attempt to keep up. Trying to make sense of the nonsensical and immoral isn’t for you, so don’t bother wasting energy. Instead, look at the big picture and see how the current events impacting your life have shown up before. Lean on your wisdom and open-mindedness to navigate the roller coaster called your life. If you don’t have the answers, go out and find them, Centaur. We could all use a little educating.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Trump is in the White House and seems to be besties with Putin, we get it. But try to only focus on the things that directly affect your day-to-day and block out the rest. Oh, and be ready for the midterm elections.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Taurus

The Astrologer Says:

Take shelter, Taurus. With the wildness of the eclipses rocking your world, you may feel like running for cover until you can figure out what’s going on. Do that, lie low, and rest up at home. Declutter your closets and get grounded again. You recognize that sometimes there’s no use moving forward in the middle of a storm. Give your mind and body a rest for a few weeks. Review what’s of importance to you so that when the time is right you’ll know exactly how to move and see rewards for your patience.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

This week will be hectic for you. The waves may not be spinning and the beard may not be glistening, which means you should keep a low profile until things fall back into your favor. Once that break begins, you’ll soon realize just how much you needed it.

Virgo

The Astrologer Says:

If you’re finding that it takes more effort than usual to get things done, Virgo, it’s because it is. Don’t swim upstream and waste your energy struggling against what is. Take this time to drift in your own zone while you recoup your energy and focus. Taking time out for solo Netflix and chilling will help recharge your batteries, especially if you’re finding yourself feeling drained while in the company of others. It’s okay to take breaks from being of service to others. Where would we if you burnt out on us? Exactly.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Yes, solo Netflix and chill dates while cuddling with your pillow is actually a thing, and not just a line you use to get a girl to feel bad for you and take an Uber pool over to your crib. There’s nothing wrong with sleeping alone, contrary to what Drake says.

Capricorn

The Astrologer Says:

Getting stuck in a rut can be annoying, but it isn’t the end of the world, Capricorn. Although you may want to continue plugging away at your goals, if you find yourself feeling uninspired or unmotivated, it’s a sign to reevaluate what’s of deep emotional value to you, Seagoat. You know better than most that it’s easy to get thrown off course in the middle of a storm. Instead of getting caught up in the frustration, take a time out to be clear about the whys of your life. Sometimes getting stuck is a sign to change course altogether.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

You’ve been going through it, Cap. You’ve been trying to make things work and it’s just not working. You know what that means? Yup, it’s time to change course. And the glow up is about to be unreal, King.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Gemini

The Astrologer Says:

It pays to listen, Gemini, although your mind and body is moving a mile a minute with all the catching up you’re doing. Whether it’s errands, classes, or just insanely long conversations with friends and family, you’re all about communicating. Just be mindful that your chit chat and gossip isn’t a waste of time. Keep a pen and paper handy as you find yourself reviewing ideas and information that’s been lost in the mix, because what you rediscover may prove to be useful when the time comes to act on your big picture plans for the future.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Communication is key, and that applies to all your relationships. Everyone from your boss to your girl needs to feel valued, and a little ass kissing never goes wrong. (But you didn’t hear that from me.)

Libra

The Astrologer Says:

You’re not crazy, Libra, the world is just a little slow on the uptake lately. This week, pay attention to the seemingly off-the-wall ideas and people that you come across, as they may play a part in inspiring you to take your eccentric tendencies more seriously. Keep in mind that you don’t have to actively create what you’re dreaming of just yet. Instead, enjoy time spent with those who are on the same page as you and push you to embrace your natural innovation for good rather than for sake of being unusual and contrarian.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Your mind is working faster than the world, which makes you seem a bit off kilter. And that’s okay—until you start thinking like Kanye West. But until then, stay humble and aligned with your friends who’ve been with you since the beginning and see your vision for the future.

Aquarius

The Astrologer Says:

Know who your allies and enemies are, Aquarius, and how to engage them. You’re finding that there are times when you win more when you turn on the charm and compromise with others rather than set them on edge with your quirkiness. You can still get people going with your visionary ideas, but when it comes to getting them on your side, try appealing to their strengths and ego a bit. Who doesn’t like to be told how amazing they are every once in a while, Water Bearer? Play your cards right, and you may walk away with a new boo. If you already have a steady boo, they’ll appreciate just how much you appreciate them.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

See? I told you ass kissing can work in your favor. Don’t be afraid to appeal to others around you if it helps make your message stronger in the end. Tell your boss the mustard yellow shirt he wears every Tuesday like clockwork compliments his brown eyes, even if you know damn well it doesn’t.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Cancer

The Astrologer Says:

You’re feeling especially security driven this week, Cancer. It’s boiling down to debits, credits and saving for a rainy day or in the event of a natural catastrophe. Alright, maybe it doesn’t have to be that dramatic, but still your mind is focused on what you currently have and how you can go about creating more of it. Review your spending and your investments, but also keep in mind that in the end you can’t take it with you, so don’t get too attached to the numbers in the bank. Instead focus on feeling satisfied and secure with what is while also knowing that when push comes to shove, the Universe and a ton of people have your back for sure.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Focusing on your bottom line and what’s in the bank is cool, but what about your life outside of that? Go live a little. Spend some of that money you’re so constantly saving, because you can’t take it with you.

Scorpio

The Astrologer Says:

You may want to let that guilt go, Scorpio. You’re entitled to your success because you worked hard for it. This week, enjoy the fruits of your labor as a job well done while also letting go of the nagging feeling that you’re not giving back enough to those who helped to get you where you are. Remind yourself that more success means more opportunities to spotlight the causes and people you hold dear to your heart. You can find the balance between earned success and remembering where you come from. Just stay true to your heart.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Mo’ Success, Mo’ Problems. But you know how to move in a room full of vultures, right? Right.

Pisces

The Astrologer Says:

Typically when the energy is this wild and frenetic you feel the need to hide away from it all, Pisces. As tempting as it may be to hide, try developing a routine that forces you to show up on time to appointments and gets you to move your body, too. The trick for you this week is to be so grounded in your own life and energy that you won’t have the time or focus to get sucked into the things you simply cannot control. Sometimes the only way to save the world is to start with your own little spot in the Universe.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Take allllllll that good energy you’re feeling, spread that sh*t around, and don’t let anyone take it from you like Pusha T did when he sucked the air out of Drake’s baby reveal. Keep doing you.

LAST WEEK’S SCOPES: BRUHstrology: How It’s Goin’ Down (Week of 07/15/18)