BRUHstrology

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BRUHstrology is where the astral plane and corner store meet. With the expert help of astrologer Janelle Belgrave (and our resident BRUHstrologer, Bruce Goodwin II), CASSIUS decodes your horoscope so you don’t have to. Here’s what’s on deck for the week of April 15, 2018.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Aries

The Astrologer Says:

Mercury chose the perfect time to get his facts straight because on the same day he goes forward, you get to celebrate a New Moon (when the Sun and Moon join together as one) in your House of Self. Use this New Moon to set bold and daring intentions about who you’re going to be for your new year of life, Aries. Saturn is going take a stroll back to your House of Career and Reputation, so just know there’s going to be future adjustments coming that sync up perfectly with how you represent yourself. It’s a process, so try to be patient, yeah? It’s been a blast. Thanks for the good times and the headaches. The last round is on us, Rams.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

The moon and stars are about to get it poppin’ and that’s all you really need to know. Word has it Saturn is gonna do a surprise visit sometime this season, and your office life is about to get a little more intense, so be ready for a bumpy ride. The liquor in your bottom right drawer may prove to be your saving grace—ya know, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Leo

The Astrologer Says:

With the New Moon comes your new outlook on life, Leo. Mercury has been helping you reconsider what your guiding principles and beliefs are, and now the New Moon demands you to commit. You’re clear on what works and what doesn’t, so be bold about what you declare as your truth. Saturn is gonna ask you to take a minute to walk back with him so you two can reconfigure how you want to work in alignment with this new philosophy of yours. Remember this is a “walk the talk” exercise, and you can totally refine and improve upon that—it just takes daily practice. Keep it up, and you’ll continue to see the gains in your career. It’s a win-win if you’re willing to move your ego out of the way.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

As our King Aubrey once said, “More Life.” And with more life comes change that you gotta embrace, whether you want to or not. Saturn is supposed to holla at you, too, so be ready for that to pop off. “Let go your ego over your right shoulder,” and you’ll be just fine. And those are super facts. Super facts.

Sagittarius

The Astrologer Says:

You’re finally feeling more solid in your gifts and talents. This dream can come true. For this New Moon plant a massive vision in your House of Creativity. Put all the bells and whistles on it, light it on fire, the works. Now be prepared to dig even deeper to attain it, go for broke, max out your energy on this, and know that you can have it if you break your back for it. Saturn is going to wear you out in the self-worth gym. He’ll challenge you to do yet another rep of responsibility, and add another set of accountability to your workout regime because that’s what it will take to make your dream happen.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

You like the person you’re becoming and that’s really dope, bro. Now that you are who you want, it’s time to get what you want. Those dreams you’ve been dreaming are all possible. Wanna start your own business? Do it. Wanna apply for that job in another city? Do it. Wanna cheat on your significant other? No comment. Just be accountable for all your actions and be ready for the problems that come with it.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Taurus

The Astrologer Says:

Happy Solar Return, Bulls! Turn up! April 19 marks the Sun’s arrival into your sign for 30 whole days of lush, indulgent and abundant sexiness. But before the party starts, please use the New Moon and Mercury directly on April 15 to finally get clear about what you believe in. Whatever new dreams and philosophies you plant during this time will be sure to follow you for most of the year, so meditate on it and wait for lightning and divine inspiration to strike. From that point on, feel free to go on with your bad self. It’s your birthday!

The BRUHstrologer Says:

This month is gonna be so lit for you. It’s warming up, which means it’s time be in these streets living your best life—whether that means getting in extra reps at the gym or hanging out at the local bar Friday AND Saturday night. The BRUHstrologer doesn’t judge, but your bank account will. Regardless, it’s your birthday SZN, so live it up.

Virgo

The Astrologer Says:

Hopefully, you’ve gotten some feedback on your work and feel more confident about yourself, Virgo, because it’s back to tinkering with the details and seeing if you can make what you’ve created even better. Saturn wants you to revise and retune your creative instruments. Now is when you get to be a perfectionist, and while you’re doing that, pay attention to who you can get to invest in your brand. The New Moon is going off in your House of Other People’s Money, so why not commit to getting other people with the same passion as yours on board to support your efforts? Keep broadcasting, because people are liking what they’re hearing from you.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Not feeling all the feedback you’ve been getting lately? So what? That’s life. Take that advice and turn it into something great, because the advice giver knows what you’re capable of. Perfect your shit, get after it, and people will eventually start to notice. Soon you’ll be collecting a bag. Start booking those side gigs, and don’t give your friends wild discounts. No, you will not photograph your cousin’s maternity photos for $50—  cough up the bread. But we digress.

Capricorn

The Astrologer Says:

The New Moon is telling you to tell a new story around your home base, family, and roots—which is awesome, so please choose something inspiring and supportive of who you are. You’ll need it. Saturn, your planetary sensei, is about to give you your first report card since he signed up to teach you how to be a boss. Take the critique and compare his notes on how you’ve been showing up and see what you can do to improve. How can you be a better version of you? And how can you get this version of you to feel at home with where you come from?

The BRUHstrologer Says:

The New Moon is getting some shit off its chest and you better be listening, especially when it comes to your family life. Work isn’t everything, and you’re finally starting to understand just how important that is. Working on your laptop while bae watches tv is bonding, dog. Boss up and watch Sex & The City with her. Nurture your roots before you don’t have anything to come home to because that’s highkey wack. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BRUHstrology Signs

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Gemini

The Astrologer Says:

Time to leave it all behind and start anew, Gemini. You’ve been tussling with power and friendships for a while, and by now, you should know who’s ride-or-die and who has to catch the next bus. The New Moon is bringing in fresh powerful energy around what your hopes and wishes are for the future, so be real about what you want to build and who you want to build it with. In the meantime, get your feelings together because Saturn is going to want to talk about your passions, your fears, and all the darker parts of your soul that need to be addressed in order to get this dream off the ground. Come prepared to do the work, Gemini. Genius takes soul-baring courageousness.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

You knew it was time to start over. By now you know who you can really trust in the squad and everyone else should be left alone— even if that means your squad is mad small now. Stay low and build. We wish there was a less corny way of saying that, but it’s true. Saturn isn’t playing with you this week, either, and looking in the mirror is gonna have you soft AF for a while, but it’s cool. Thugs cry, too.

Libra

The Astrologer Says:

Know that the fussing and fighting you had going on in your relationships were absolutely necessary. You’ve earned your stripes, so tell everyone what the new game plan is going to be going forward. Plant your flag like a warrior, because you did that shit, Libra! Don’t be surprised if you have a few last-minute departures from your life. Let them go because those stories are finished. In the meantime, turn your attention to home. Saturn is calling your attention back to your roots and family, so investigate those old patterns that like to crop up and ruin a good time whenever you get fearful. It’s messy work, but someone’s gotta do it and that person is you.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Fussin’ and fightin’, now you’re back at it again? Yes, that’s an Omarion reference and yes you should work things out with THAT person you’re thinking about. Stop ruining a good thing and be grateful. Just because your girl has an iPhone X and you can unlock it with her face while she sleeps doesn’t mean you should.

Aquarius

The Astrologer Says:

You’re almost out of the woods, Water Bearer. You’ve been fine-tuning your signal to pick up on the reality you want to create in real time. Remember that thoughts and dreams eventually become things. This New Moon will ask you to infuse bold energy into the ideas you want to run with, so pay attention to the inspiration. The dreams that frighten you the most may be the ones to embrace. They only frighten you because you know that you’d have to let go of playing small in order to attain them. Again, there’s no rush to announce this to the world just yet, so incubate and meditate. You’ll know when the time is right to start acting.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

It’s been super real for you lately, but you’re about to come up out of all that bullshit. No worries, King, that New Moon is about to help you out in a major way.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Cancer

The Astrologer Says:

One last push, Cancer. With Mercury going forward and a kick-ass New Moon about to take place in your House of Career, this is yet another opportunity to set intentions and take big action around solidifying your place in the world. I know you’re tired and moody and you’re wondering if you’ll have any friends or lovers left after any of this, but you will. In fact, you get to spend extra time mending your relationships since Saturn is taking his turn in the retrograde game. Time to tidy up your one-on-one partnerships because you know (and you’ve likely heard) that you can do so much better. You’re made of tougher stuff than you think, Crabby Pants. So wipe your tears, head up high, and show us what you can do when your back is against the wall.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

The New Moon is about to help you out too, Cancer. New bags are on the horizon, and it’s time for you to solidify why you deserve them. That starts with making sure everything is cool at the crib and with the fam. What’s the point of getting money if you have no one to share it with? Now that you can splurge on something fancier than Red Lobster, make sure bae is around to experience it.

Scorpio

The Astrologer Says:

This week has you switching gears to review what you’ve learned so far, Scorpio. You know that you have a message to put out there, but it’s not quite ready yet. Let Mercury inform you as to what needs to be incorporated into your daily routine in order to make it happen. The New Moon will give you the opportunity to plan step-by-step actions to make it happen. You may want to include your exercise and diet into this plan because Saturn is going to have you go through an intensive clinic with your content and ideas. Don’t worry, it’ll be fun, and there will be plenty of people who want to partner with you. Get busy.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

That New Moon is just finessing the whole squad, isn’t it? It’s not gonna be an easy week, but you’ll learn to step up to the plate and knock that shit out of the park. Get a haircut and prepare to flex this weekend. Taper that fade if you’re really feeling yourself.

Pisces

The Astrologer Says:

New Moon, new values. New Moon, new wishes. New Moon, new friends, too. If you lost a few homies this past month, don’t worry—they weren’t for you anyway. Draw up your criteria for who makes the cut going forward and make sure they align with you and your needs first. Saturn is going to walk you back a bit to make sure you’re weeding out the right people and wrong visions, so don’t be alarmed if more people and dreams get the ax. It’s a new dawn, and you’ll be feeling fine in no time.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

All new everything. And despite what Drake says, new friends, too. This time is really about the people you keep around you and making sure they keep the same energy from the group chat as when they see you in person. And if they don’t? Cut them off.

LAST WEEK’S SCOPES: BRUHstrology: How It’s Goin’ Down (Week of 04/08/18)

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