You don’t have to be famous to have, well, ummm…fans. It happens. If you’re attractive, handling business and doing your own thing, someone is bound to notice. Unfortunately, too often the person who’s feeling you the most isn’t who you want to have that kind of vibe with. What now? First, put your ego aside. Next, try these.
1 Make It Quick and Dirty
There’s no need to play coy. Once you know you’re not interested in someone who’s approached, you should let that person know. The longer you drag things out, the more of a “thing” it becomes. If the person has the courage to tell you face-to-face, kindly make it clear that you’re not interested in the moment. You can be extremely frank and figure out how you want to say you’re not interested, or take the road more often traveled and say you’re seeing someone. Either way, make sure you begin with a statement acknowledging your appreciation for the compliment, such as, “I’m flattered.”
2 No Flirting, Ever
Resist the urge to engage in playful banter with your crush. Giving compliments, using playful terms of endearment or offering too much attention can be misread as signs of interest. While you are “just being nice,” the person who’s into you may read the behavior as passive signals of desire, which will make her/him hopeful about the possibility of making a connection. In this instance being too nice is actually a bad thing. Be friendly but avoid doing things that will make the person crushing on you hopeful about hooking up.
3 Don’t Be Mean
While you shouldn’t give the person crushing on you false hope, you also want to refrain from being mean. Sometimes knowing a person likes you can make you feel self-conscious or awkward. The person may also become a little clingy and not take your expressed lack of interest to heart. People also tend to cater excessively to their crushes, which can become annoying and embarrassing to the individual who’s the recipient of unwanted attention. If you feel yourself becoming short with someone who’s expressed interest in you, think about why. After you identify the emotion motivating your behavior consider the best way to remedy it. Do you need to have another conversation? Do you need to put more space between you two? Remember, you still have to treat this individual with respect and consideration.
4 Dead the Jokes
Remember that time you were feeling someone and the sentiment wasn’t returned? It wasn’t fun, or funny. Have the same consideration when you’re someone’s crush. Don’t make this person the butt of jokes. Don’t share emails, texts or voice messages that were left for you. Don’t make the individual the topic of conversation in a group setting. Use the same, if not more, consideration than you’d want in the scenario.
S. Tia Brown is a journalist and licensed therapist. She also loves Jodeci and giving practical life tips.