BRUHstrology

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BRUHstrology is where the astral plane and corner store meet. With the expert help of astrologer Janelle Belgrave (and our resident BRUHstrologer, Bruce Goodwin II), CASSIUS decodes your horoscope so you don’t have to. Here’s what’s on deck for the week of July 8, 2018.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Aries

The Astrologer Says:

It’s a good week to clean up your act, Aries. After all the festivities and delicious indulgences, the heavens need you to start streamlining your day-to-day so that it’s less of a wild party and more of a functional, well-thought-out affair. Tackling practicalities that make your life run smoother helps to boost your confidence and give a sense of accomplishment. Knock out your ever growing to-do list and watch life unfold with ease.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

It’s been a week. You’re waking up in a haze of all your bad decisions and possibly vomit from drinking yourself into a frenzy. But you’re getting to old for that, dog. Hangovers last for days, and you’ve got too much to do on the weekends to sleep in. You know hitting up the grocery store on early Sunday mornings before all the good poultry is gone is your new way of life.

Leo

The Astrologer Says:

Mind your energy and your thoughts this week, Leo. You could be feeling the friction between your immediate needs and the needs of your home and family life. Do your best to get them to sync up so that you don’t feel like you have to sacrifice one part of your life for the other. At the end of each day, treat yourself to something nice just for you, because you do deserve.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

This is gonna be a trying week for you, Leo. All that means is remember to give yourself equally to all necessary parties without over giving. That also means stick to just one side chick this week. Trust me: you’ll feel spent come next week if you decide to spread the love.

Sagittarius

The Astrologer Says:

You may have to sit down with yourself just to meditate on what you want to achieve this week, Centaur. If you’ve been floating in the mists, it’s a good time to get grounded in the reality of the moment instead of how you want it to be. Take time to map out some rules and routines that you can stick to that will get you that much closer to your goals. No frills are necessary, Centaur. You can do a whole lot with less than what you currently have. Focus.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Dreaming about the giant house, Bentley, and eating shrimp in Red Lobster with your shirt off like Plies is cool. But you’ve gotta realize that you’re not there yet and being happy with where you are now will only make the end goal much sweeter.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Taurus

The Astrologer Says:

The world is your oyster this week, Taurus. With friends and partners inviting you out to enjoy their company, you’re highly in demand. Try not to the let lengthy conversations leave you feeling drained. Instead, use them as the inspiration and creative fuel to get you back into your own creative projects that may have been collecting dust while your life rearranged itself around you. Have fun, live a little, and be noticed, Taurus. Life has much pleasure to offer you.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

People are gonna be talking to you a lot this week, but don’t worry—good will definitely come from it… unless it’s your boss coming around to tell you how much they appreciate the work you’ve recently been putting it. You don’t need to hear that sh*t. Instead, focus on your friends, family, and baes that have potential to stick around longer than a few months.

Virgo

The Astrologer Says:

It’s a mentally chaotic and busy week for you, Virgo. There are tons of ideas, plans and social engagement that demand your attention, but you’re not in the mood to be in the mix just yet. Keep a running list of ideas and plans you don’t feel up to handling, as by the end of this week you’ll feel more assertive and ready to knock out your to-do list. Heads up, Virgo, you look very attractive when you’re in charge. People are going to notice you. Say yes when you’re asked out to play. You’ll feel better after.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

This week is not gonna be too lit. Sorry, Virgo. Cancel all those dates and happy hours you had planned so you dont wind up getting an attitude and throwing a drink on someone like an episode of Love & Hip-Hop.  Keep your head down and get your work done, then pop out next week.

Capricorn

The Astrologer Says:

There’s been so much chatter about what you’re passionate about and what groups you belong to that it’s enough to drive you crazy, Capricorn. This week, latch onto to that desire to get away from it all at least for a few days. Go spend time in nature, and enjoy any activity that feels like an adventure rather than a long, drawn out debate about values and beliefs. Remember: it’s fine to not know exactly where you stand. Time to yourself to explore will only get you closer to knowing what you need and want from life.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

You’re being pulled in every direction, but it’s time to figure out which clan is really yours. Maybe your new group of homies goes to a wine bar on Saturdays instead of going on bar crawls like a 19-year-old. Maybe you join a basketball league full of people who have no jumper. Whatever it is, find your new clan and be yourself.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Gemini

The Astrologer Says:

Your mind is on overdrive this week, Gemini, as you try to decide which of the details are important and which are just superfluous bits of information clogging up your mental flow. You may want to try taking a break from the information overload by spending more time at home to ground yourself. There’s something calming about nesting, cooking and eating that could help you focus on what’s important rather that what’s the current trend.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Put your phone down for a minute. Reading tweets about Trump and how amazing unpaid internships are is ruining your life, man. Instead, argue with your friends about why LeBron should have went to Philly instead of the Lakers, or how Scorpion is Drake’s Magnum Opus. Whatever you do, stop arguing about dumb sh*t you’re not passionate about.

Libra

The Astrologer Says:

It’s not that you’re anti-social, Libra. You could never be that. Right now you’re assessing whether or not your social groups line up with what you value most in life. Sometimes it’s an easy fit and there are times when its definitely not. Instead of fretting about whether or not your crew would have your back if you decided to climb Lady Liberty as a form of protest, work on leading by example. Take some time to lie low while also inspiring the best in those around you with your idealism. Yes, the world can be a better place with a little kindness and patience. Show us how it’s done, Libra.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Yeah, it’s time for you to spend a week in the crib. Your friends are out living their best thot lives, and you don’t need to join them… but when they ask you to go to the clinic with them for that umpteenth STD test, you probably should. Don’t be afraid to stay in and watch Netflix for a while. We here Set It Up, is a fire rom-com.

Aquarius

The Astrologer Says:

Everyone is in a mood, Water Bearer. It’s not just you. Although common sense may tell you to ignore everyone that’s giving you a hard time (especially all those one-on-one partners who are trying your patience), don’t cast anyone aside just yet—even if they are acting really extra. Keep in mind that people are feeling lost in the sauce as well as sensitive about it. Appeal to their humanity by reminding them that misfits and outcasts are just as needed and wanted as anyone else. You would know, right Aquarius?

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Stop being selfish and only thinking of yourself. You don’t know what else other people might be going through, so be nice instead of cursing out the barista who gave you a venti instead of a grande. I don’t even know the difference, and neither should you.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Cancer

The Astrologer Says:

If communication has been touchy lately, this week should help you to smooth out misunderstandings, Cancer. You’re feeling more up to engage with others this week and better able to handle light hearted conversations that makes everyone laugh. Keep it light and talk about your interests and hobbies to take your mind off the heaviness of everything else. When you nurture yourself first, it makes it easier to nurture everyone else, too.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

All that stupid sh*t you’ve been doing over the past few weeks is catching up to you, big dog. And you know what that means? It’s time for damage control. It’ll not only put you at peace, but also those you offended, like your friend Mike who you told has a terrible hairline and you know he’s already sensitive about it.

Scorpio

The Astrologer Says:

This week should have your optimism returning to you, Scorpio. Have faith in yourself as you go about achieving your goals, but be mindful of over-promising on what you can actually deliver at work. It’s not that you can’t do it but you don’t have go all out just yet. Instead remind yourself that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to and that it’s much easier to get things done with a little help from your friends. The work isn’t going anywhere Scorpio, enjoy time with your people. It will recharge your batteries.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Happiness is on the horizon, and no one can take it from you right now. Not even that one toxic ex who is probably gonna text you “What happened to us?” even though we all know damn well they slept with your cousin. But I digress, just enjoy time with the gang gang.

Pisces

The Astrologer Says:

Lean into the love this week, Pisces. Although you’ve been busy trying to organize all the details of your big picture, it’s a good idea to take a moment to enjoy your relationships with others, too. Remind yourself that it’s not always the rise and grind mentality that gets you to the top; it’s also the kindness of friends and loves who want to see you shining, too. Lean into their support and their ability to make your load a little lighter, Pisces. We’re in this together.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

If any bad energy tries to hit you this week, respond with “I’m good luv, enjoy.” Word to Future.

LAST WEEK’S SCOPES: BRUHstrology: How It’s Goin’ Down (Week of 07/01/18)

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