Think you can handle your liquor? Don’t bet your freedom on it.
A new study tracked the sexual behavior of 20-something men who were hitting on women, after drinking. The findings were interesting.
Researchers found that men were much more sexually aggressive with women after consuming alcohol. Here’s the scary thing: the male participants connected positive responses to requests for physical encounters with persistence after initial refusals. There was another interesting find, both males who were drinking and those who were sober became increasingly verbally hostile when their overtures were denied by more than one individual.
“We found that when a man is sexually interested in a woman, being intoxicated increases the likelihood that he will be more persistent pushing sex, even when she clearly refuses his advances. Furthermore, being sexually refused is associated with making hostile comments to the woman, regardless of whether or not the men were drinking,” says Dr. Jacqueline Woerner, lead study author and Postdoctoral Fellow at Yale University School of Medicine.
Here are some important takeaways.
Drinking and Consent Don’t Mix
While shows like Floribama Shore glamorize party hook-up culture, in real life drinking limits one’s ability to consent to a sexual act. Taking shots can be fun. But if drinking makes a man more sexually aggressive and impedes both parties’ ability to give consent…well, you don’t have to be a genius to figure out what can happen. Know your limit. And if your date has been throwing them back, back off.
Persistence = Intimidation
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest, National Network) breaks down consent in a simple way. Get in the habit of only asking for sex once in any singular encounter, and accepting the response. You think you’re begging, smooth talking or wearing someone down but your continued persistence can be seen as intimidating the other party to engage in something against her or his will. Believe what a person tells you the first time around. No always means no.
Manage Repeat Rejection
Striking out is hard, and men are still often socially tasked with making the first move. It’s unfair…but so are a lot of other things. Getting mad only makes matters worse. Learning how to manage our ego is social settings will lead to better results. Oh yeah, and just like you don’t like every girl who gives you the eye, a woman doesn’t have to be into you just because you’re feeling her. Let it go.