BRUHstrology: How It’s Goin’ Down (Week of 08/12/18)

BRUHstrology is where the astral plane and corner store meet. With the expert help of astrologer Janelle Belgrave (and our resident BRUHstrologer, Bruce Goodwin II), CASSIUS decodes your horoscope so you don’t have to. Here’s what’s on deck for the week of August 12, 2018.

Aries

The Astrologer Says:

Remember back in April/May when you were likely getting into trouble with your higher-ups at work, trying to assert your authority in tangible ways, but may have been getting a backhand instead? Yeah, well you get to revisit that energy this week as Mars dips his toes back into your House of Career and Reputation for a re-do. Who knows: maybe you have a step-by-step plan of attack that you can present, or have learned how to do more with less fuss and without pissing people off with the way you come across. Take two, Aries? Show us what you’ve learned and try to knock it out the park this time.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

You were buggin’ out back in the spring at work and you know it. Your personal life was out of wack, too. Remember that one time you barked on your waiter when he brought you a passion fruit margarita instead of the coconut one that you ordered? Yeah, that’s not cool, so it’s time to smarten up. From now on, when you want to go head-to-head with someone, make sure you have a plan, because you can definitely get hot-headed.

Leo

The Astrologer Says:

If your desk and calendar is still looking a mess, Leo, worry not. Mars is coming to revisit your House of Health and Daily Routines to make sure you’ve kept up with what you put into place back in May. How’s the workout plan going? Still taking your vitamins? Actually keeping up with the daily task lists you set for yourself or has it all gone to hell? Not to worry if you fell off or if you feel like you need to do some tweaking in order to get the perfect balance between work and play. Just remember to hit those details, and do your best not to irritate your co-workers with your need to take charge.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Clean up your life, big dog. All that sh*t you said you’d do once the new year rolled around is still just a list in your head since you haven’t kept up with any of it. You said you’d save more money this year, but you’ve still been living your best life and eating out fir lunch every day. You’ve got four months left of the year, so try your best to play catch up.

Sagittarius

The Astrologer Says:

Perhaps you’ve been spending a bit too much in your head, Sadge, and you’ve discovered that spinning your wheels trying to figure out how to get things done isn’t getting anything done. Take a breath, get out of your head, and start taking action toward the things you’ve been wanting to see manifest. That means less talk and more doing—in an efficient manner. Thinking about the new job/boo/vacation you want isn’t going to magically make it appear before you, but applying, calling and hitting the book button will. What’s that 20th century slogan again? Oh yeah…Just Do It, Centaur.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Having a plan isn’t worth anything until you put it into action. All that talking is cool, but has it been implemented? Think about that the next time you wanna talk about your accomplishments and put your head down and get to work.

Taurus

The Astrologer Says:

*Killmonger voice* Is this your belief!? Let us review, shall we, Taurus? Think back to this spring. Your life was starting to shift and you started to question what you believed in and whether or not you were passionate enough about your life philosophies to actually embody them. This week that theme returns for one more pass to ask you: do you believe in your life enough to act? Be bolder this time around, Taurus. You’ve done this before, so it isn’t new. Choose a little passion, because times are changing and so are you. Go forth with optimism!

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Change is good and you need to start embracing it. You’ve seen the fruits of your laborious changes come before but stopped because of fear. Remember: scared money don’t make no money.

Virgo

The Astrologer Says:

Remember this whole thing called life is supposed to be fun, Virgo. Yes, you’re good with the day-to-day and the doing of all the tasks, but Mars is stepping back into your House of Creativity and Romance to remind you to enjoy the process of self-expressing. Go play, Virgo. Gather up the kiddies, go blow some bubbles, get lost in the park, make some tie-dye shirts or something equally messy and colorful so that you remember that it feels good to create just for the hell of it. Fall in love with the art of creating and loving just to remind yourself that you can.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

You’ve been stressed since you were born despite people routinely telling you to just chill out. Things are becoming very overwhelming, so now more than ever is the perfect time for you to have some fun and do what makes you happy—no matter if it’s a drink on some random beach or underwater basket weaving.

Capricorn

The Astrologer Says:

“If you are what you say you are, a superstar…” That’s right Capricorn, you are indeed a superstar in your own way. You may not be the flashiest of the signs, but you still know how to make an impact. Mars coming back to your sign this week will be asking you to straighten your spine, puff up your chest, and act like you know that you’re the greatest to ever do it. This is a call back to this May, so remind yourself of what you could do differently about how you present yourself. Don’t be afraid to throw those elbows up to get to the front of the line. You deserve. Don’t forget to smile, Cap. You got this.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

It’s time for you to grow a set and act like you’ve been there before. Stop letting people walk over you and be ready to back up your facts. Presentation is everything and so is sticking to your plan. Oh, and remember how important a firm handshake is.

Gemini

The Astrologer Says:

With Mars in your House of Shared Resources and the Occult, this spring saw you doing and saying a few things that put people on edge (we’ll never forget that ‘Ye moment, I’m sorry not sorry). This time, instead of being swallowed up by the worst of your dark twisted fantasies, try to share it with others in away that gets you the healing and the intimacy that you really want. We know you just want to be loved and appreciated, Gemini, even when you come out looking hella crazy. Less force this time. Just open up and see what happens.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Kanye West had another moment, and we’re hoping that you haven’t had the same attitude this week. You haven’t… have you?

Libra

The Astrologer Says:

Mars is reviewing that family story of yours from this spring, Libra. Can you handle it better this time around? I think you can. Remember this is about letting go of behaviors that have you behaving defensively and/or passive aggressively around close friends and family members. You can definitely protect those you care about without becoming a doormat to their needs and wants. Set some boundaries that gives you the freedom to love who you love without feeling like you have to surrender your sense of self in order to fit in. That means knowing when to tell Mom/Dad/Bro/Sis/Keisha/Whoever: I love you, but I can’t right now…next time?

The BRUHstrologer Says:

There’s a balance between helping your people out and letting them walk all over you. Now is the time to find that balance before all hell breaks loose. Not answering the group chat while your friends are getting jokes about the latest episode of Insecure or sending an “Im Good Luv, Enjoy ” text is perfectly fine.

Aquarius

The Astrologer Says:

We’re not feeding the fears this time around, right, Water Bearer? If you recall, back in the spring you were a little undone by your own fear of your dreams not coming true. The focus was on all the things you weren’t rather than what you actually are, which is brilliant. Hit the brakes on your forward movement and just float in your imagination for a little while. Get passionate about your dreams again and gently remind yourself that you can have them come true and even get other people on board to support you in making it happen. You’re not alone in this, I promise.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Opening up that Etsy shop has proved to be a real headache, huh? That doesn’t mean you get discouraged; it means you work even harder. Wanna start that YouTube channel devoted to your rock collection? We can’t guarantee viewership, but do what makes you happy.

Cancer

The Astrologer Says:

I believe in you, Cancer, and yes you can get a handle of your relationships once and for all! (Well at least you’ll be better at it now than you were during the spring, right?) Aim for confidence and know that you’re the shit. You know what to do and say when you’re working with or partnering with others. What we’re not going for is being a bully or letting other people push you around because you’re unwilling to stand up for yourself. And for the last time, you do know what you want to do, you’re just afraid that others won’t want to do it, too. Who cares if they don’t; either they’ll meet you in the middle or they won’t. It’s not the end of the world, now go charm someone into loving up on you the way you like.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Getting your relationships together? We’ll believe it when we see it. Start by dropping all your summer baes for the one you think could be it. Or, if you like juggling women, be sure to make up weird names in your contacts. Just make names unisex, because if not, girl #1 will be wondering why Pizza Hut is calling you at 2 a.m.

Scorpio

The Astrologer Says:

You’ve nearly nailed your messaging, Scorpio. Think back to the spring when you were in the middle of figuring out what it is that you can teach to others. Now you know exactly what it is that you have to say and share. This time, give it more energy and confidence. This is your wheelhouse. You know what you’re talking about, you know who your audience is and how to inspire them to act, so what’s the hold up? Are you waiting for an invitation to spellbind people with your words and ideas? I didn’t think so. Bye.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Look at you talking to people with some respect without it affecting your confidence. Stop waiting for whatever you think it is you’re waiting for and just f*cking do it.

Pisces

The Astrologer Says:

Hey Little Fish, do you know where and who you belong to now? It’s true that not everyone is going to share the same vision for the future as you do, but those who do are gonna have your back now matter what. Try not to force your passion onto other people this time around, or feel that you’re somehow a failure for not getting the results you want from your people. Work from your heart, connect with people in that friendly, inspired and hopeful manner that keeps you going, and see what happens. Tap your network, make some phone calls, and invite everyone back to the table for one more pass at the vision you want their support in creating. They may go for it this time around cuz you’re all the way committed and that sh*t is infectious.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

It’s as simple as this: find your tribe and then get to it, Pisces.

LAST WEEK’S SCOPES: BRUHstrology: How It’s Goin’ Down (Week of 08/05/18)