On Tuesday, Republican Rhode Island Rep. Patricia Morgan decided in all her infinite whiteness that she was going to wake up that morning and set the internet ablaze while becoming caucasity personified.
Morgan boneheadedly tweeted about the lone “Black friend” she once had who suddenly became “hostile and unpleasant” with her despite her doing nothing to deserve it “except be white.” She, of course, attributed her probably-fictional negro friend’s new attitude to the emergence of Critical Race Theory, the academic study that has existed since 1989 despite white people just discovering its existence last year.
Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that Morgan’s former Black friend isn’t as imaginary as the voter fraud that cost Trumple-weird-skin the 2020 presidential race. Why would Morgan’s Black colleague—who is presumably not a student attending a K-12 school or college—be turning on her now because of CRT, even if CRT was what white conservatives claim it is, which it isn’t?
In fact, maybe Morgan’s Black friend—who, again, we’re just assuming isn’t as non-existent as Kyle Rittenhouse’s testimony tears—decided she was no longer interested in a friendship with a white woman who pushed legislation to ban the teaching of “divisive concepts and prohibit making individuals feel distressed on account of their race or sex.” In other words, Cap-a-ton Morgan wanted to ban any Black history or social studies curriculum that gets the fragile whites’ star-spangled pantaloons all in a bunch.
What we know is that Morgan’s Black friend, who is such a magical negro that she’s probably make-believe, didn’t just stop messing with the Kareniest of KK-Karens because of the color of her skin.
Nah, Morgan, your probably-not-real melanated friend didn’t ghost you because you’re white. The fact is, this cap-a-Donna nonsense tweet has polluted the interwebs—because you’re white.
Only a caucasity-infused Caucasian would think a tweet like this was OK. Only a color-redacted person would think it’s anything less than racist AF to post about an unnamed Black friend—whose existence we’re supposed to take at face value—stereotype the likely imaginary Black friend as “hostile and unpleasant.” Then claim that nothing but her pure and innocent whiteness was the reason for the mean Black lady’s aggression.
If Morgan’s friend was ever real, maybe she grew standoffish, not simply because Morgan is white, but because she is so clearly and demonstrably racist.
Suffice it to say, Twitter was unkind to Morgan and her fake plight with her Black friend who, in case you forgot, we’re assuming isn’t as fictional as the CRT white people say is being taught in K-12 schools.
And thus, the “I had a white friend” hashtag was born.
The difference is virtually all of the #IHadAWhiteFriend posts involved Black people tweeting about the actual, real-life racism, microaggressions and instances of white fragility we deal with every single day, while Morgan was clearly just making s*** up and proving herself to be the very type of “white friend” Black people are rightfully “hostile and unpleasant” with.
Morgan is the hashtag she unintentionally created.
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Photo: Boston Globe / Getty