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On a recent episode of his podcast, Mike Tyson opened up about the man he used to be, saying that while he’s scared of that version of himself he feels “empty” without boxing. While chatting with guest and former professional boxer Sugar Ray Leonard, Tyson discussed his sparring days.

“I’m a f*cking student of war,” he said at 13:45, adding  “I know the art of fight, I know the art of war, that’s all I ever studied. That’s why I’m so feared, that’s why they feared me when I was in the ring — I was an annihilator, that’s all I was born for. Now those days are gone. It’s empty, I’m nothing. I’m working on the art of humbleness. That’s the reason I’m crying cause I’m not that person no more and I miss him. Because sometimes I feel like a b*tch, because I don’t want that person to come out because if he comes out hell will come with him.”

It was an emotional moment that was followed by an admission that he fears his former self. Sugar Ray Leonard also said he has regrets, but says he is a much better person now. Tune in to the full interview up top.