Highs And Lows: The Biggest NFL Winners (& Losers) Of Week 2
Highs And Lows: The Biggest Winners Of NFL Season Week 2 & The Battle Of The Bums
Way back in 2001, back when Michael Jordan was working for the Washington Wizards, the basketball team had a decision to make. The Wizards had the top pick in that year’s draft, and the top two big men, Tyson Chandler and Kwame Brown, were both high school players who declared for the NBA. So the Wizards, who had the first pick in the draft, decided that they would have them back in the gym for one final workout. In that workout, Kwame Brown and Chandler would play one-on-one. Everyone who attended that epic one-on-one battle came out with one clear conclusion: Kwame Brown destroyed Tyson Chandler. It wasn’t even close. Tyson Chandler was nowhere near the skill level that Brown had at the time.
The Wizards would take Brown with the No. 1 pick, and the Los Angeles Clippers would take Chandler with the 2nd pick. And to think all of it was decided with a one-on-one game and no one in the room thought about the one thing that has irked me since I learned about this game: What if both of them were bums?
This is Week 2 of the NFL roundup in which we take a hard look at the biggest winners, losers, and the teams that might look like winners because they played an equally sorry team and won.
The Best of the Best
The Detroit Lions
If anyone was worried about the Detroit Lions after Week 1’s dud, don’t worry, they saved it all for Week 2. I don’t even know if you can consider this a game, but the Lions handed the Chicago Bears a back-alley beatdown, 52-12. Jared Goff looked like his old self, throwing for 334 yards and five touchdowns. You read that correctly, five touchdowns. It’s safe to say, at least for this game, that the Lions are back.
Philadelphia Eagles
Until Patrick Mahomes retires, the Kansas City Chiefs will always be a tough out, but don’t tell that to the Jalen Hurts-led Eagles, who won the Super Bowl LIX rematch 20-17. The funny thing is that all of the big-name stars on the Eagles just looked a’ight. Hurts threw for a lowly 101 yards, going 15 for 22 and no touchdowns. Devonta Smith, AJ Brown, Jahan Dotson, and Grant Calcaterra had 11 catches for 90 yards COMBINED. Saquon Barkley still did Saquon ting,s going for 88 yards on 22 carries and 1 touchdown. But the real star of this show was the defense, which kept Mahomes uneasy and therefore unable to bring his team back.
The Worst of the Worst
Kansas City Chiefs
I’m not trying to sound the alarm, but the Kansas City Chiefs are 0-2. That’s right, the Super Bowl losers, who only lost three games last season, have lost their first two games, and they’ve made this week’s “Worst of the Worst” list because in their two losses, they didn’t look good. Mahomes has looked really human this year, and that’s very unlike him. With Rashee Rice and Xavier Worthy out, one would think that Travis Kelce would be picking up the slack; well, one would be wrong. The offense looks broken, and this is all going to sound really dumb when they win the next 15 games straight.
Chicago Bears
If you took 12 random folks off the street and gave them uniforms and helmets and had them play the Chicago Bears, I’m taking the 12 random folks off the street. The Bears haven’t just looked bad; they look miserable. They got absolutely destroyed by the Lions, allowing 500 yards. The defensive pass rush was abysmal, and the offensive line couldn’t keep a group of teens out of Target during a new Stanley Cup drop. It’s been sad watching what the Windy City team has become. And don’t give me that, “But they almost beat the Vikings,” foolishness because that just leads me back to my initial question: What if both of them were bums?
Maybe They Are Both Bums
Minnesota Vikings
In Week 1, the Vikings barely beat the Bears 27-24. Then in week 2, the Vikings got thrashed by the Atlanta Falcons 22-6. The Vikings offense looked sluggish as J.J. McCarthy dealt with pressure all game, throwing two interceptions and completing only 11 of 21 passes. The entire team only managed six points. Six.
But here’s the thing, even though the Atlanta Falcons dusted the Vikings off pretty easily, it doesn’t mean that the Falcons are good. Falcons quarterback Michael Penix has yet to look like an NFL quarterback this season, throwing for just 135 yards on 13 of 21 pass attempts. It’s clear that the Falcons’ offense is going to be heavy on the run as they ease the second-year starter into his position.
Which brings us to…
The New York Giants vs The Dallas Cowboys
The Dallas Cowboys squeaked out an overtime victory to beat the New York Giants 40-37. Don’t let the score fool you. This was a horrible game marred by penalties and inconsistent play on both sides of the ball. Yes, the game was close, and yes, the Cowboys won, but have you seen the Giants this season? Russell Wilson almost looked like an actual quarterback, but could that have been because the Cowboys’ defense was atrocious? Wilson threw for 450 yards, 3 touchdowns, and 1 interception. Which was matched by Dak Prescott’s 361 yards and 2 touchdowns, and 1 interception. The whole game was a mess. But the Cowboys came out victorious, but that doesn’t mean they’re a good team either.
I mean, the Wizards took Kwame Brown with the No. 1 pick based on how badly he beat Tyson Chandler, and how’d that work out?
