Highs And Lows: The Biggest Winners (& Losers) Of NFL Week 8
Highs And Lows: The Biggest Winners (& Losers) Of NFL Season Week 8 & Saving People From Themselves
We’d just turned the corner onto our block when my father noticed two guys fighting. I couldn’t have been more than eight at the time. The guys fighting looked to be in their twenties. And they were going at it. At one point, my dad parked the car to watch, and I leaned over him to look out his window. One guy had the other one on the ground and was pummeling him until my dad hopped out the car and pulled the other guy off of him. The man on the ground stumbled back to his feet, his face full of blood. Both men were gasping for air, when suddenly, the man who was bloody tried to hit the other guy. My dad pushed the bloody guy back and told him to go home. When the guy kept walking towards my dad, my dad looked at the bloody man and told him very forcefully to leave. The guy grabbed his things, turned and slinked away.
When everything calmed back down, my dad got back in the car, and I asked him why he yelled at the other man, who clearly got beaten up. He said, “Sometimes you have to save people from themselves.”
This is Week 8 of the NFL football round-up in which we separate the wheat from the chaff (whatever that means) and figure out which teams are winners, losers, and everything in between.
Winners
Indianapolis Colts
The Indianapolis Colts improved to 7-1 after dominating the Tennessee Titans 38-14. And it’s not that anyone had the Colts losing this game, but they won in top team fashion. Colts running back Jonathan Taylor was a grown man rushing for 153 yards and three touchdowns. Dare I say that the Colts are one of the most complete teams led by Daniel Jones, who went from an albatross with the New York Giants to hearing chants of MVP.
Buffalo Bills
The Buffalo Bills rolled to a convincing win over the Carolina Panthers, 40-9. What’s scary about this win is that the Bills quarterback didn’t have to do much, going 12-19, 163 yards, and 1 touchdown. The Bills were on cruise control from the beginning. What’s even scarier is that the Bills running game looked like a machine with running back James Cook going for 216 yards and 2 touchdowns on just 19 carries. When the running game is clicking, the Bills are almost impossible to beat.
Denver Broncos
The Denver Broncos beat Satan’s favorite team, the Dallas Cowboys, 44-24. Broncos quarterback Bo Nix came out slinging going 19-29 for 247 yards, four touchdowns and one interception. Broncos wide receiver Troy Franklin had 6 catches for 89 yards and 2 touchdowns. The Cowboys are going the wrong way, and that way is a continued death spiral to the bottom of the NFC East, just the way the lord intended.
In the Middle
Los Angeles Chargers
On Thursday, the Los Angeles Chargers beat the daylights out of the Minnesota Vikings 37-10. Vikings quarterback Carson Wentz looked horrible, going 15-27 for 144 yards, 1 touchdown, and 1 interception. While Chargers quarterback Justin Herbert looked amazing (18-25, 227 yards, 3 TDs and 1 Int) so I know you’re wondering how the Chargers ended up on the middle of the pack list? Well, that’s the thing, I don’t trust these Chargers, or more specifically, will the real Chargers stand up. Is this the team they got thrashed by the Washington Commanders, or the team that just beat up Carson and the Wentzs? Who knows.
Chicago Bears
The Chicago Bears were supposed to beat the Lamar Jackson-less Baltimore Ravens, but it appears no one told that to the Ravens. Ravens quarterback Tyler Huntley managed the game well, going 17-22, 186 yards, and 1 touchdown. But the real reason the Ravens won is that Derrick Henry acted like Derrick Henry and ran for 71 yards on 21 carries and 2 TDs. More importantly, he didn’t put the ball on the ground. The Bears were moving the ball; they just couldn’t score, and nothing says middle-of-the-road type team like moving the ball and going nowhere. Caleb Williams went 25-38 for 285 yards and 1 Int. Rome Odunze had 7 receptions for 114 yards, and it doesn’t matter when you lose the game.
Houston Texans
The Houston Texans’ win over the San Francisco 49ers (26-15) was a statement victory — the kind that shows a young team is learning how to win against elite competition. C.J. Stroud was poised under pressure, going 30-39 for 318 yards and two touchdowns and 1 Int. The Texans’ defense finally put up a full-game performance, but don’t get it twisted, Texans beat the Mac Jones-led 49ers and not the Brock Purdy 49ers, which is a whole different animal.
Losers
New Orleans Saints
There is an easy way to fix the New Orleans Saints: call everyone on the team into the conference room and tell them, “If your name doesn’t rhyme with Bhris Brolave or Shemario Shavis, then pack your things and leave.” There is no silver lining with this team as the whole team stinks.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat the Saints 23-3. That’s right, a professional football team put up three points over four quarters. Fans grew so sick of quarterback Spencer Rattler that they started booing, forcing the team to go with Tyler Shough in the second half. And that went about as well as expected.
Tennessee Titans
The Tennessee Titans are going to live in this spot. The Titans suffered a 38–14 loss to the Indianapolis Colts and are now 1-7. There were some bright spots, but bright spots when you are 1-7 and got trounced are like saying, “Yes, I vomited, but at least I only got it all over the car and not on my Tennessee Titans hat!” At this point, the Titans are playing for draft position to try and get Cam Ward some help, and they know it.
Cleveland Browns
The Cleveland Browns’ loss to the New England Patriots, 32-13, was a masterclass in self-sabotage — the kind of game where you can see the pieces are there, but the team keeps punching itself in the face. Defensive end Myles Garrett had a record-setting five sacks, and it was all for nothing. Dillon Gabriel played another horrible game, going 21-35, for 156 yards, 2 touchdowns, and 2 interceptions. And head coach Kevin Stefanski won’t even consider making a change at quarterback to Shedeur Sanders. At this point, it’s time for Browns owner Jimmy Haslam to send Stefanski home, not to punish him, but to prevent him from hurting the team further. Clearly, Gabriel is his quarterback, but “Sometimes you have to save people from themselves.”
