BRUHstrology for Cassius

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BRUHstrology is where the astral plane and corner store meet. With the expert help of astrologer Janelle Belgrave (and our resident BRUHstrologer, Bruce Goodwin II), CASSIUS decodes your horoscope so you don’t have to. Here’s what’s on deck for the week of March 25, 2018.

Fire signs of Astrology

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Aries

The Astrologer Says:

This birthday season may see you with a little more money in the bank, or atleast the ability to accept all the gifts people want to lavish upon you. Say yes to the cash and the compliments because you’re worth it. Just be sure to share the wealth, Ram, because parties aren’t really parties unless you have a few good souls to share your happiness with.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

It’s birthday season and tax season. It’s lit! So treat yo self and spread the wealth with the gang gang gang. But please save some of that bread, too, because raining days are never too far away. Feel free to Milly Rock on top of a local bar stool in the meantime, though.

Leo

The Astrologer Says:

Let’s talk about the things that really matter this week, Leo, which is you and your accomplishments. Venus—the Goddess of Abundance & Beauty—will be out here helping you look extra good on the job, and the Full Moon will have you chatting about it. If your walk is really all that, might as well talk about it, right? Let them know who they’re dealing with, the King/Queen.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Whoever said not to rest on your laurels was… right. But patting yourself on the back is important after you just killed that presentation at work. Know your worth, bruh. The Goddess of Abundance & Beauty is in the cut and ready to throw you the ‘oop at any second. I have no idea who that is, but Goddesses are good, right?

Sagittarius

The Astrologer Says:

Fall in love with the everyday grind, Sadge. I know it’s not glamorous or even exciting, but it’s part of the journey of being a responsible adult (womp womp). The thing about routines is that they eventually become second nature. Embrace it. If you need a little support, try finding others in the same boat as you. Enthusiasm and a sense of humor can get you through just about anything.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

First off, never say rise and grind. It was cool to post on your Facebook in 2008, but that’s no longer the wave. BUT—you do need to fall in love with the daily grind, because that’s how you’ll eventually get to where you want to be. And enjoy it, because it’s more enjoyable than where you end up.

Earth signs of Astrology

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Taurus

The Astrologer Says:

You may want to start singing “I’m Feeling Myself” in the mirror. Venus (your ruling planet) is entering your sign at the end of the week, upping all your natural charm, beauty, and grace. If winter has you feeling a little dusty and rusty, consider committing to that workout regime you’ve been putting off. It’s alright; you’ll still look hella cute while busting a sweat.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Playing “Return of the Mack” as you prep your beard in the mirror is more like it, but I digress. You’ve been in a bit of a slump lately, but let’s chalk it up to the Winter Blues. The good news is daylight savings has passed and the sun is still out while your eating dinner. Start working out now so you can get fits off to all those lowtop kicks you copped recently. Summer is coming, and so are the fits.

Virgo

The Astrologer Says:

Invest in your growth this week, Virgo. What have you been itching to learn but never seem to have the time or resources to actually do? There comes a time when we start running out of excuses for why we don’t do the things we want to. In this case, you’ll get to examine your sense of self-worth. A wise Virgo by the name of Nasir Jones once wrote:

“I know I can

Be what I wanna be

If I work hard at it

I’ll be where I wanna be”

The BRUHstrologer Says:

It’s time to do that one thing that you’ve always wanted to try but just can’t build up the courage to do. Stop being frail and just take the damn calligraphy class, bro.

Capricorn

The Astrologer Says:

Enjoy yourself, Capricorn. All your hard work is starting to pay off for now. You’ve been kicking ass and taking names since the beginning of the year, so expect some residuals to start coming down the line. Take a break and indulge a little bit. Venus is going to be dancing in your House of Fun, Creativity & Romance. That means treat yourself (and maybe someone else you like) to those OTRII tickets. You deserve!

The BRUHstrologer Says:

The first quarter of the year is nearly over and you’ve been killing shit. And those three months of hard work are about to start paying off, big dog. You deserve a break, so do something good for yourself. Whether its getting a pedicure or going to a Dipset concert—DO IT.

Air signs of Astrology

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Gemini

The Astrologer Says:

What’s your pleasure, Gemini? The one that no one knows about? Yeah that one. Perhaps it’s time to indulge in some playtime this week, especially if it calms you and makes you feel connected to your soul. When’s the last time you did something just for you that made you smile and feel at peace? If you can’t remember, then it’s definitely time to re-up on that secret thing. You never know. In the process of taking care of you, you may find a little fun and romance along the way.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

You know that weird thing you like to do that no one knows about it? Do it! I mean, as long as its legal. You might even find a new bae while doing so.

Libra

The Astrologer Says:

Everything is illuminated for you in regards to you and your relationships this week. You know more than most that life is about finding that balance between you and everyone else. You may find that you have to reign it in a little bit, especially if you find that your investment in others simply isn’t adding up. This may require you to be cold-hearted and just about the facts and the bottom line. Ask: are you increasing my joy, my bank account, or my peace of mind? If not, get to steppin’.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

I think it was Drake that once said “pour into yourself before you pour into anyone else.” Okay, it probably wasn’t, but take care of yourself, Libra. Then, once you’re satisfied, only then can you even think about taking on someone else’s BS.

Aquarius

The Astrologer Says:

There’s some friction between wanting to be a homebody and needing to be out there in the world getting involved this week, Waterbearer. Strike a balance where you can. bring the world to you. Go to that community talk that you’ve been looking forward to, or why not host something from your place? If all else fails, there’s always the internet. This way you can socialize and expand those horizons without having to take off your bunny slippers.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Get out the house for once, bro. That introvertedness is cool, but you can’t JUST leave the house to go to work and grocery shopping. Just kidding. Use one of those grocery delivery sites. It’s even better.

Water signs of Astrology

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Cancer

The Astrologer Says:

You know the value of a happy home, Cancer, and this Full Moon is all about bringing it back to your roots. You’ve been out here doing the work at the job, with your partners, your finances, literally everything. So, kick up your feet, cuddle up on the couch, and relax. When you feel rested, make some time to catch up with the people who’ve always had your back. Even better, invite them over for a dinner party and movie night. The best of both worlds.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Stop working so damn much and relax— it’s that simple. Take a night off and hang with your bae(s).

Scorpio

The Astrologer Says:

You’re caught between wanting to dissolve into the cosmic ether or get loved up on by someone cute. Stressful times, Scorpio, I know. Perhaps you can invite the potential boo over for some meditation and tarot cards? Or you can even share with them the manifesto you’ve been working on since December. The point is you gotta open up that heart and soul sometimes. You have so much to give.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

De-cuffing season is almost here, but if you’re still simpin’, you’ve gotta just own up to it. You can still cuddle in the summer, but just make sure the air conditioner is blasting. It’s time to open up and perhaps cut your roster of five down to one.

Pisces

The Astrologer Says:

You may have to speak truth to power, Pisces. You may have a lot on your mind that just needs to get out of your system, especially some of the heavier things you tend to keep to yourself for fear of rocking the boat. The thing is when you give a voice to those uncomfortable subjects you may be inadvertently healing someone out there who didn’t know they needed your help. Be a light onto the world, Little Fishes.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Speak up. You’ve got a voice so use it, G. Things may be uncomfortable at first, but you’ll be happy you spoke up sooner rather than later. Boss the fuck up and don’t be scared to do so.

LAST WEEK’S SCOPES: BRUHstrology: How It’s Goin’ Down (Week of 03/18/18)