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Anal stimulation can be enjoyable for anyone who wants to have the backdoor experience, but there is more to a** action than what meets the eye. Though the act is considered taboo to some, when properly equipped with the knowledge and tools to play safely anyone—man or woman—can have a fun experience.

Why? Well, the anus is charged up with thousands of nerve endings that can elect orgasm when stimulated. Whether you use your mouth, fingers, toys, or penis there are rules to follow when playing anally. Check out these basic tips for booty action that makes both parties want to come again.

1 Get Permission First

It’s commonly assumed that sex is supposed to be a spontaneous act entered in the heat of the moment. While this can be true for some experiences, there are acts that require prep and communication. Anal sex is one of those acts. Ask your partner if butt play is their thing before sticking a finger (or tongue) where the sun doesn’t shine. If you are the one who enjoys receiving anal stimulation, express this to your partner (ideally when you’re not having sex so there is no immediate pressure) and talk about ways to make the experience comfortable for the both of you. Communicating establishes trust, which is essential for relaxation.

2 Cleanliness is a MUST

Whether you’re planning to eat the booty like groceries or to penetrate (or be penetrated), you want to make sure the area has been thoroughly cleaned before play. The anus is the exit point for the body’s waste, and playing with it without proper cleansing can spread infection-causing bacteria. Using antibacterial soap to wash will suffice. An enema bag can also be used to clear out the rectum for those who want to take it a step further (read stick a tongue, penis or object inside the anus). Dropping a deuce at some time during the day is enough to clear the rectum for penetration. Also, remember to clean any toys that will be used for butt play before and after use. If fingers are being used, make sure to trim and file nails smooth, to clean under them before playing.

3 Pain-Free Pleasure

Many shy away from the idea of booty play because of horror stories they’ve heard of others’ failed attempts. The truth of the matter is when anal sex is performed properly— which means the booty is lubricated and the person receiving is relaxed— it does not hurt. Sex of any kind is not uncomfortable when the person is aroused. Using store-bought lubricants, foreplay, and slow-yet-steady strokes is necessary to make penetration easy. Refrain from replaying the mantra of “it’s gonna hurt” in your mind and know that proper prep ensures playtime only feels amazing.

4 Keep Things Chill

The anus is protected by two sphincter muscles that prevent things from going into it, and controls whatever comes out. In order to make penetration comfortable you must learn how to not only relax these muscles but to also relax your body and mind. Anxiety causes the entire body to tense up which makes penetration even more difficult. Massaging your partner’s body and booty is a great way to hit the breaks on hard action before it’s time—particularly if it’s the first encounter.

5 Lube It Up

The anus isn’t self lubricating like the vagina, so it is necessary to use lubrication to reduce friction and tearing of its membrane. Water based lubes are highly recommended for butt play due to the ability to hydrate. Silicon lubes are also a great option for the ability to remain silky throughout the experience. Water based lube will need to be reapplied frequently during the experience because it can evaporate. Silicone lubricant is better fro the anus because it will go a long way and is latex safe. The more lube you use the better. Gun oil, Astroglide and Sliquid are brands to trust.

6 Stay Strapped Up

Anal intercourse is only safe when you use condoms. STD/STI transmission is easiest through the anus membrane because it’s think and rips easily. Condoms can also be used on toys to make cleanup easier after play. If you want to use a barrier between butts and mouths, use plastic wrap to cover the area and lick away.