The word “dominatrix” typically garners an image of a stiletto donning vixen ramming her heels into the back of a dude sporting a bit gag… hence the image above. Sounds like fun, right?
But the world of dominance/submission fetish play expands beyond physical control. Enter FinDom, also known as financial domination, a fetish where the submissive (usually a conventionally powerful male) compensates a dominant (typically a woman) with gifts, acts of service and total compliance for the sole purpose of…his pleasure. Before you get too hyped, know that there are rules to financial domination. According to Master Fetish Trainer Jasmine, dominants and submissives typically enter into detailed contracts with explicit boundaries, ranging from creating monthly “to-do” lists to budgets that ensure the submissive’s desire for pleasure—remember she’s getting off on this—doesn’t overspend and mess up “house money” during play time (submissives can be women).
So, how does a guy, or gal, know whether the moisture formulating between his or her legs while reading this article is mere curiosity or a serious indicator that it’s time to up the fetish ante? Read CASSIUS’ FinDom checklist below (courtesy of our expert Jasmine) and figure out whether you’re ready to fully submit.
1 Must Take Direction
Once you engage in a FinDom contract playtime becomes serious business. Your dominant (“dom” for short) will begin giving you detailed tasks to complete. The duties can range from ordering a specific gift to making a reservation—and the submissive has to be ready to serve, and pay.
2 Ability to Anticipate Needs
A submissive’s (“sub” for short) duties aren’t limited to gifting, she is also typically tasked with serving the dom. This means thinking ahead about the actions and items that may please her dominant. Would she like a massage at her favorite spa? Should you upgrade her travel plans? The sub’s job is to dote at 1000 percent.
3You. Are. Paid.
This fetish isn’t for those on the come up. So yes, a submissive can be at almost any income level and have a contract created to tailor to his or /her budget… but most doms aren’t going to put in work for a bag of Cheetos. Additionally, responsible dominants want to ensure that a sub is not blowing mortgage money on getting a virtual hard-on (many FinDoms are not exchanging sexual interaction for service because submissives often get off on the mental endorphins that accompany being dominated). In sum, a potential submissive needs to have cash money to support his or her FinDom habit.
4 Gift Giving REALLY Excites You
Are you aroused when you know that someone is receiving a gift from you? Does the thought of showering someone with gifts give you a full erection, or make you cum? Here’s another thing to ask yourself: are you aroused —mental or physical stimulation— by private humiliation or being humiliated in an orchestrated setting? If your answer to any of these is yes, you may be ready.
5 Looking to Feel Powerless
Most submissives feel over empowered in some setting or aspect of life (work, home or even perceived power due to socio-economic clout) and want to relinquish the burden by creating a situation where he or she has no authority and is subjected to the verbal and financial whims of another.
6 You’re Not Just Looking to Unload Cash
Submissives aren’t spending money on doms because she or he is a closeted do-gooder. The FinDom relationship fills a deep desire to engage in a power exchange for the sole purpose of mental or sexual arousal.