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Drake at Toronto Raptors

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Drake is sad boy personified, full of self-deprecating braggadocio.

On paper, it’s a recipe for disaster. But if it’s spun right, it can be lit. Today, the king of break-up and self-realization music celebrates his 31st birthday. What better way to celebrate than trying to maneuver the ever-changing landscape of dating the way Aubrey himself would (probably) do it?

From picking the right photos to meeting up, here’s the CASSIUS guide to Tindering like Drake:


Choose the Right Photo(s)

Toronto Raptors lose to the Golden State Warriors

Source: Steve Russell / Getty

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but that’s pretty much the whole point to Tinder. No one reads anymore, so your photos need to be on point. Pick your aesthetic and stick to it, with some variation in the last photo or two to show that you can change things up a bit. Are you a turtleneck kind of guy? Make sure you give that smoldering eye, big dog, the swag has to match the sweaters. Have a beard? Make sure it’s glistening in photos. Into nature? It’s fall, where’s your pumpkin picking photo? We advise against having other people in your photos because they’ll get confused for your significant other or your kid. Celebs are cool though, because it’s a conversation starter. If all else fails, just play “Take Care” as you choose your photos. It’ll set the vibe.


Know Yourself … In Your Bio

2017 Billboard Music Awards - Backstage and Audience

Source: Kevin Mazur/BBMA2017 / Getty

Okay, well some people do actually read. But your bio shouldn’t be too long, a sentence or two is enough. Know the type of woman you’re looking for. Interested in an ethereal bae? You better include your astrological sign in your bio. Want a gym partner? Volunteer to spot her at the gym. Love foodies? Mention that you might know where to find the best tacos in the city. Just make sure your intentions are clear—whether it’s to bring your previous flame’s baggage into your next relationship, or to drink an ungodly amount, hook up with them that night and delete your match the next day. No judgement here.


Set The Tone

BRIT AWARDS 2016 - The Show

Source: Samir Hussein / Getty

Okay, you made it. The sorta-corny-but-cute bio paired with the non-threatening photos got you a match. But now, the real work begins. You can make a comment about something she’s doing in one of her photos. Does her picture at Disney World remind you of some funny story about the time you were at an amusement theme park? Mention it. Is she repping your rivals with a team jersey? Tell her how shitty her team is compared to yours, but, like, in a nice way. Or don’t mention it at all—sports can be a sore subject. Maybe just mention you know the best (insert team name here) bar in the city. Music is always a talking point when it comes to messaging, too. So if her anthem is a Taylor Swift song, you can mention that “Bad Blood” was actually fire, or share your favorite deep cut from Fearless. Is her anthem a Nas song? Declare that Stillmatic is better than Illmatic and see what happens. Play to your strengths and shared interests.


Pick The Right First Meet Up

Rihanna and Drake leave the club Up and Down together after hanging out at the after party for the VMA's in New York City.

Source: Splash / Splash News

After a few days of going back and forth you decide it’s time to meet up. No pressure, dog. Have you had enough exchanges that a dinner date is warranted? If not, it’s always best to just opt to grab a drink—it’s less committal, can last all of 15 minutes if the vibe is wrong, or becomes very Drakey as you both admit your faults and discover how much you can help each other grow. Or you can just grab coffee, because not everyone drinks. Either way, remember to “Know Yourself.”

When in doubt just ask yourself, “What Would Drake Do?”