BRUHstrology

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BRUHstrology is where the astral plane and corner store meet up. With the expert help of astrologer Janelle Belgrave (and our resident BRUHstrologer, Bruce Goodwin II), CASSIUS decodes your horoscope so you don’t have to. Here’s what’s on deck for the week of March 4, 2018.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Aries

The Astrologer Says:

It’s not yet your season, Ram, but this first week of March has you heavily feeling yourself. Mercury (the communicator) and Venus (the Goddess of Beauty) are entering your sign. If you’ve been talking about yourself with confidence or thinking of changing your look, this would be the time to do it. Let them know who the champ is.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Yeah, it’s time to get all the way into your bag. “The Goddess of Beauty” is on your side, so if you were thinking about changing up your look, go for it. Fits need to be gotten off, and if you wanna start tapering your fade or grow your beard out, now’s the moment. Buy that powder blue velour suit you’ve had bookmarked for weeks. You deserve it.

Leo

The Astrologer Says:

It would be nice to get away for a while, Leo. This time of year can be heavy for you, so if you need a change of scenery, book a ticket and roll out. If that’s not in the cards, find ways to expand your mind and offer yourself a different perspective that leaves you feeling inspired once more. And don’t worry—the Sun will indeed come back out, and that Sun is you.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

As Young Jeezy would say, you need a vacation. The winter blues are real, and getting away for a quick trip will do you some good. A week away in the Dominican Republic might not be in the budget, but a quick trip to Miami Beach for some shenanigans might be. Remember: you catch flights, not feelings, King.

Sagittarius

The Astrologer Says:

If you’ve been feeling like an emotional homebody, Centaur, this week is the perfect time to add some color back into your world. Venus and Mercury entering into your House of Romance & Fun will urge you to go out to flirt, or at the very least focus on activities that bring you joy. Just be mindful not to burn through your savings while you’re having a good time.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

No idea what “Centaur” is, but it’s time to get out of that emotional funk you’ve been in since shorty didn’t text you back. Whether your most recent fling ended or you’re trying to find yourself after a long-term relationship ended on a sour note, now’s the time to hit the bar and meet some new prospects. You may even consider borrowing your friend’s Yorkie to walk around the park and break the ice with some fellow dog owners. Flourish.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Taurus

The Astrologer Says:

Time to go inward, Taurus. Consider this week the beginning of your spiritual journey. You can probably feel the big changes percolating within you and waiting to break free, but before that happens, you have to take charge of your inner world. Pay attention to your dreams and the inner voice that’s getting louder.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Change is coming, dog. Things have been subtly starting to move around you, and you’re finally beginning to notice and take form. That voice in your head that’s been annoying the shit outta you lately? Listen to it. The same way Penny Hardaway had Lil Penny on the blacktop.

Virgo

The Astrologer Says:

You’re no stranger to cleaning up messes or organizing chaos, Virgo. This week your thoughts and desires will revolve around cleaning out the skeletons in your closets. If it makes you squeamish or is related to sex, death, or taxes, then chances are you have to tackle it. Gloves on, get to work! Who knows? Maybe you’ll get a bonus for all your brave work.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Just tackle that shit, man. Something has been weighing on you for a while and you gotta get rid of it before summer rolls around. So naturally, the glo-up begins now. “Fuck the frail shit,” as Jadakiss once said. You’ll be aight. But first, make sure you get your taxes done… because that’s really important, too.

Capricorn

The Astrologer Says:

Get your house in order, Cap. Think about how you can liven up your space in ways that will make it easier for you to accomplish your goals. Typically this requires decluttering and a good ole fashioned deep spring cleaning. Not to worry if you don’t know where to start since Mercury will be revisiting later this month to get you focused on what needs to go.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Just keep your space clean; it’s as simple as that. Mercury will make its way to you soon, and all that means is the things you need to prioritize will be made clear. If it’s time to get out of that toxic relationship or get a new job, Mercury will slide in your DMs and let you know.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Gemini

The Astrologer Says:

Hey, Twins. Pisces season has had you spinning your wheels and working harder than ever. With Mercury and Venus entering your House of Friendships & Groups, take some time to go out on the town with some friends. Lighten up, because all work and no play just fries your wires. Running about with your wilder friends will help to burn off the stress you’ve been under.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Get out the crib, period. You’ve been working mad overtime and haven’t seen the squad in a minute. Take a night off and link up with them, and don’t be afraid to take that umpteenth shot of Jameson (or whatever dark liquor you prefer). The hangover might be rough, but the stories will be worth it. It’s time to take a break from staying low and building.

Libra

The Astrologer Says:

Bold new characters may want to encourage you to take charge and feel the fire in your belly, Libra. Mercury and Venus in fiery Aries will take a spin through your House of Marriage, Partnerships & Open Enemies, so if you find yourself rearing for a fight more than usual, don’t be alarmed. Remind yourself that you can tussle with the best of them. Be sure to mind your boundaries lest an all-out war breaks out.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

You might be a little spicier this month than usual, but that’s cool— sometimes it’s needed. Think Jalen Ramsey levels of sass and motivation and attain that. Some new women may be in your life, be it Tinder matches or random conversations with girls at bars. Welcome the new relationships and treat them accordingly. Oh, and free smoke for any and all enemies that choose to come forth.

Aquarius

The Astrologer Says:

It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood, Aquarius. You may want to ask yourself when was the last time that you socialized locally. Get involved, shake some hands, learn something new about your community this week. Your innovative mind is in demand by people who want to make a change in the world.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Just get out of the crib for once. There’s more to life than working and chillin’ at home, so get out and volunteer or something. The worst that can happen is you find a new hobby (that’s free!) or meet some new friends… or potential baes.

BRUHstrology Signs

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Scorpio

The Astrologer Says:

Pisces Season can be an indulgent, hedonistic season for you, Scorpio. If you’ve been getting carried away with the wine, late nights and romancing, this week you may feel inspired to take charge of organizing your life and getting back into shape. Don’t overthink it– just do it. Envision what you want to achieve and then hit the ground running. You can always adjust as you go along.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Put the Moscato down, fam. You’ve been drinking more wine than Drake… which is a lot. For starters, perhaps you should drink more water and stop drinking on weeknights. Take control of your life and get back in the gym, because being winded after walking up one flight of stairs isn’t the wave. And clean up your apartment— constantly losing your keys is getting old. Level up.

Pisces

The Astrologer Says:

It’s still your birthday season, Pisces, so you get to live it up for a few more weeks. However, this week is ideal for getting your mind right about your money. Think boldly about what skill sets you can offer to increase your coins. A little courage and elbowing to the front of the line may land you the financial blessing you’ve been asking for. Just be sure you don’t burn through it while you celebrate.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

You’re either still riding off the high of your birthday or pretty hyped that it’s coming. Either way, you’re feeling yourself. But with age comes wisdom and money—that’s how that saying goes, right? You’re getting older and it’s time to start considering how you can lend your talents in return for some paper. Is it picking up a new gig? Is it going overboard on overtime? Is it investing in stocks? Whatever it is, just know it’s time to get your cake up.

Cancer

The Astrologer Says:

You’ve acquired more than enough information to start implementing your next steps regarding your career and reputation. However, you have to say things with your chest, Cancer. Be your best advocate without being pushy, dress a little bolder, speak with a bit more fire, and trust that you know what you’re doing—because you do.

The BRUHstrologer Says:

Some tough career decisions are on the horizon and you gotta stop doubting yourself because you got this. Know yourself. Get ‘fits off more often. Trust yourself and make the next move.