Mid adult couple embracing on bed

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Laying down good d**k (read: remarkable sex) gives men a lot more leverage than they realize in a relationship. It makes sense. If a chick knows an episode is going to end with her screaming and/or squirting post orgasm, she is much more likely deliver on any request you make, from home-cooked meals to slow and wet BJs.

Becoming the dude who always gets the right response to late night “wassup” texts simply requires that you pay attention to how your partner’s body responds—even if she isn’t. Want to ensure you’re laying down undeniable D? Here are seven signs that you ain’t hitting it right and ways to fix it…even mid-stroke.

1 She makes more noise at the movie theater than she does in bed. 

If there aren’t any moans or sounds of pleasure escaping her throat as you stroke and she is staring back at you like a deer in the headlights, chances are she isn’t stimulated enough. Change things up a bit by sliding your penis to the very opening of her vagina, give her about 10 shallow strokes and then slide deeper into her slowly. If you’re in missionary position, spread her legs to reveal her clitoris, use some of her natural lubricant to moisten your thumb and rub her sex flesh as you continue to stroke upward with your penis. The goal here is to get her nerve endings popping. So if you know her kill-spot (ex. kissing her neck or biting her lips) do it. Your patience will pay off.

2She has an unappreciative, bland expression on her face.

Now it’s time to practice your communication skills. Simply ask, “How are you feeling, is everything okay?” Don’t be afraid to talk during sex. The easiest way to fix your stroke is to ask her how she likes it. A simple check in goes a along way.

3 She says “ouch” on repeat.

Hearing a yelp is a sign that you’re hitting a painful spot. When you hear any sounds of displeasure, STOP midstroke and immediately ask how she’s feeling. Don’t be the guy who gets so caught up in his nut that he forgets there is a woman underneath him. The vagina is elastic and resilient, but still requires strategy. The quick fix is simple: ease up on that spot.

4 She holds you back with her thighs, or hands.

Nah, bro. She’s not running away from the dick. This is a sign that she needs you to change your pace, stroke or position—and you haven’t been responding to other cues. So if you feel her putting up a resistance to your stroke, pull out a bit and ask, “How do you want it?” This gives her the power to switch into a position that will increase her pleasure and wetness.  If she doesn’t know how she wants it, then take the lead and do a replay—go back to the last position she responded well to in your current episode.

5 She moves her pelvis or modifies the position you’re in.

Take this as a sign that she knows exactly where she wants your stroke to hit and is guiding you to the spot. Accept the gentle lead and help her move closer to that orgasm you want her to experience.

6 She doesn’t move… at all.

A woman who is as still as a corpse during sex just isn’t in the moment. It’s best to pause, check in and see what’s on her mind. Yes, it may kill the moment but it’s also likely to create a better one a few minutes down the line. And, if she’s totally not feeling it, it’s time to call the session a wrap.

7 You see the crimson stain mid stroke.

If a woman isn’t on her period and blood appears on your penis mid stroke, STOP and do not continue. Whenever you see blood during sex it’s a sign that your stroke hit something within the vagina, and it ruptured. If you keep stroking while she’s bleeding you can cause further damage. Use your intimate time to talk about what went wrong and how the stroke can be improved for safer and more comfortable sex during the next encounter.

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