Social media takes average interactions and makes them a million times more complicated. A comment that you type on someone’s picture that you might see as flirtatious may read as block-worthy to someone else.
Hence the age-old (read: since the beginning of Instagram) debate: to slide or not to slide in the DMs?
The idea of sliding into the DMs (direct messages) has quickly become part of our culture, and is referenced in everything from music to memes, in both theory and action. But has anyone actually ever perfected the art of DM’ing?
Since practice makes perfect, we came up with a few mandates to upgrade your keystroke game. Here are some things you should know before taking that dive into shorty’s (message) box.
1. Scope Out the Territory
As deceiving as social media can be, you can tell a lot about a person by the way their Instagram feed is set up. Is potential bae taking selfies of her a** on the treadmill, or full-body mirror pics in his sweats at home? What are those captioned song lyrics truly trying to tell you? Are they posting at 12 noon or midnight? These are all vital details that might drop hints about whether you two are compatible or not. Pick up whatever he or she is putting down and plot to respond accordingly.
2. Lay the Ground Work
No one ever wants to be seen as a creep, especially by a cutie they’re trying to get with. Believe it or not, there are definitely ways to make this less awkward than it has to be. Give yourself a bit a of pre-DM credibility by liking and commenting on a picture here and there. This creates a level of mutual recognition and a bit of suspense — who’s this person liking all my stuff all of a sudden? If he or she uses IG stories, take advantage of the access. A quick comment allows you to slide directly into his or her DM in real time. And a comment that has a natural flow brings us to the next tip…
3. Avoid the Shallow Ice Breakers
If all you have to contribute to her life is some heart eyes and a smirk emoji, you can say buh-bye to your chances before you even started. There has to be something about this person (besides their aesthetics) that attracted you to him or her in the first place. If not, this is your time to chef it up and fake it ’til you feel it. Try to pinpoint some things that are important to you in whatever type of situationship you’re looking for. Ask compelling questions, ones that he or she will actually want to respond to.
4. Know When to Take the L
This is simultaneously the most simple and most difficult thing you can do in this situation. If shorty’s sending you one-worded responses every 12 hours (or no response at all) then maybe you should take this as a sign to wave the white flag. Anything else you try will come off as annoying, rude, disrespectful, lame or a combination of them all.
This last tip is most important: never come off as thirsty. You’ve got the whole summer ahead of you — and whether you get a yes, or no, there’s still more savagery to be done.