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Central Park, New York City at the lake

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Y‘all remember Amy “Central Park Karen” Cooper, right? She’s the white woman who got caught on camera threatening to weaponize the police against bird-watcher Christian Cooper, who simply demanded that she leash her dog back in 2020. For whatever reason, Newsweek gave Cooper a platform to cry her little Karen tears in the form of an op-ed about how difficult her life has been since the viral moment she undoubtedly wishes she could take back. (Not because she feels bad about being a whiny racist with itchy 911 fingers, but because it was caught on camera, resulting in her humiliation, firing and failed lawsuit over her firing for being a whiny racist.)

In the op-ed, she didn’t seem to raise any new defenses, as she has been crying about how Christian scared her by saying, “If you’re going to do what you want, I’m going to do what I want, but you’re not going to like it,” and then allegedly trying to lure her dog with treats.

“Christian taunted me to call the police,” Amy wrote. “Seeing no other choice, I called 911 and described the man who was threatening me. But due to very spotty service in the park, I had to repeat my description of Christian multiple times.”

So, first of all, Amy did have other choices besides calling the police. She could have walked away. In the video, she’s basically choking the dog with its leash because she has such a tight grip on him. How exactly was he going to be lured away?

Secondly, does Amy realize how cameras work? Millions of people saw her literally threatening to tell the police, “There’s an African American man threatening my life”—despite the fact that Christian never did any such thing—with a clear emphasis on “African American.” That is very clear and demonstrable racism.

Amy went on to claim it was actually a poor cellphone signal that caused her to emphasize Christian’s Blackness while giving his description to the 911 dispatcher. This only indicates that she either thinks we’re all stupid, or she’s counting on fellow racists to ignore the fact that before she even got on the phone with 911, she directly threatened Christian by indicating that she would emphasize “African American” to the police.

Amy went on to claim other white people were scared of the Black man too, as if that somehow excuses her behavior.

“Jerome Lockett has stated that Christian also aggressively threatened him, luring in his dog,” she claimed. “Jerome said he knows of two fellow dog owners who experienced the same behavior from Christian, but they don’t want to come forward because they are white, and Christian is Black. They fear being canceled—as I have been.”

Again, this op-ed was clearly meant for racist white readers. The dog-whistling is obvious: Amy calls Christian “aggressive,” implies that Black people enjoy some kind of social privilege over white people when the opposite is demonstrably true, and she does her best to portray him as violent when there is no indication that he is. She’s also invoking another white man and the other white people that he allegedly knows, who are all afraid of Christian, and somehow, she doesn’t see how that makes her look even more racist.

Also, the Karen of all Karens doesn’t want anyone to be called a Karen anymore.

“There is no such thing as a ‘Karen,’” the picture-perfect example of what a Karen is, wrote. “We are all just people. Each of us deserving grace and forgiveness. In the end, silencing the truth, the full story, hurts all of us.” (Says the woman who is desperately trying to omit parts of the story we all saw on camera.)

Amy also wrote that she has tried to reach out to Christian in hopes that they could have an “honest, productive conversation” but he has not responded to her requests. Maybe that’s because Christian is busy with better things like authoring comic books or hosting a National Geographic television show about bird watching. Or maybe Christian simply doesn’t want to have a sit-down with a woman who is still trying to paint him as a big Black menace and herself as a demure white damsel in distress.

Mind you, one of the main reasons charges of falsifying a police report were dropped against Amy was that Christian refused to pile onto her problems by cooperating with the criminal investigation. He decided she had already been through enough. Meanwhile, she’s still relying on whiteness to demonize him.

And that is absolute Karen behavior.