Dustin is generally a very spicy person, so of course he had to be a bottle of Sriracha for Halloween to teach ya’ll the do’s and dont’s of the mischievous day.
And it all starts with every child’s favorite part— trick or treating. As Dustin says, seeing a random person walk up to your house with a small kid is usually a frightening time if you engage in unprotected… activities. But today is different, which means not only is answering the door cool but you better not have the candy that is always at the bottom of your grandmother’s purse. What 10-year-old wants a gross caramel mint? Exactly. So make sure you get some fire candy and if the trick or treaters don’t come through then you’ve just earned yourself a bag of candy.
You should always remember that man or woman, Halloween is your excuse to dress as scantily clad as you want and no one can say anything. So show off those hairy thighs, King. Oh, and just because people may be dressed a little more liberal than usual that doesn’t give you the right to touch anyone. Keep your hands to yourself and have a Happy f*ckin’ Halloween.
P.S.: Good luck with that walk of shame dressed as a Smurf on November 1—we’ve all been there.