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Philadelphia Eagles v New York Jets

Source: Dustin Satloff / Getty

Okay, my Caucasian friends, here’s the thing: Y’all have got to stop publicly preaching from the Bible of the Unwashed. Y’all have got to stop gleefully boasting to people about how you don’t bathe regularly or don’t wash your legs, or how a dip in the pool counts as a bath, or how washcloths are unheard of in your households.

Over the weekend, someone tweeted that retired NFL star Jason Kelce “looks like he doesn’t wash his legs or feet.” Now, one would think that if somebody insulted a person by implying they don’t practice good hygiene, that person would defend themselves against such slander, offended that anyone would impune their bathing habits.

Not Kelce, though. He seemed to be more offended at the implication that he should fully wash himself.

“What kind of weirdo washes their feet?” Kelce asked, prompting people to respond with a better question: You just walk around with your whole lower half stankin’, don’t you?

So, after Kelce got dragged for asking why soap needs to be applied to the entire body during a bath or shower, he decided to double down on his chronic mustiness in the worst way.

“All of you have been fed diabolical lies that washing every crevice of your bodies and hair, all the time is somehow better or healthier. Any dermatologist not in bed with Big Soap will agree!! Hot spots are all that is necessary and actually leads to cleaner healthier skin,” Kelce tweeted after retweeting a rando on the internet who said they saw a “study” that showed washing your legs and feet increases bacteria. (They didn’t post the “study” though, and they ignored people in the comments who posted studies that contradicted his science for the soapless narrative.

Also, what is it with these NFL dude-bros and the odd things they believe to be the most “diabolical lies” ever told? First, Harrison Butker tells women graduating from college that “the most diabolical lie” they’ve ever been told is that they would be happy striving for professional fulfillment or anything else outside of being somebody’s wife and mother. Now, Kelce is using the same language to claim “Big Soap” has duped us all into being overly clean.

Anyway, the collective of leg-and-feet-washing voices of hygienic reason formerly known as Black Twitter had some thoughts about Kelce and his selective bathing practices.

Check out these reactions below.

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