Afro american couple drinking coffee at home

Source: Izabela Habur / Getty

The first time you travel with bae is a make or break experience. There are so many potential stressors that may come into play when you’re taking a vacation with a woman you’re feeling, and each of them puts your regular relationship dynamic into hyperdrive and magnifies the little things that may otherwise take you months or years to uncover about the person’s character.

If she—and the time together—rocks,  your bond is undeniably stronger after a getaway. She earns your trust, admiration and all the other sappy ish that comes along with cool situationships. But if it mucks up and either of you has a brat or b*&$ch meltdown, you’ve got a decision to make. Like are you calling it quits in the hotel or waiting to get home? It’s a loss because, real talk, either way you’ll end up spending way too much time side peeping your phone and waiting to  get the alert to check into your return flight. Don’t let the possible #ByeBae drama dissuade you from the opportunity to have an epic getaway with someone you’re feeling—just vet her first.

Here’s how.

1 Just Chill

The way you and your lady handle small choices is a great indicator of what you’ll do in a super-sized situation. For example, do you guys generally vibe on the same shows, restaurants and music? Is she easy to talk to? Can you give her a look, or vice versa, and understand what’s going on? Does she handle unexpected changes well?  It takes a lot more than being cool with each other to  be good travel partners. Pay attention to the little things when it comes to how y’all connect. Next, ask yourself these questions: Am I seeking adventure or a relaxing escape? Do I like to ball out or be on a budget? Do I have all the outfit looks to do it for the gram or am I  trying to be off the grid? Is she the best choice for what I’m trying to get into?

2 Cut Or Cuddle Buddy

Even good sex can be ruined by a gross travel companion. A vacation is like having a temporary roommate, so you want to do a little vetting before you commit to sharing a key card for a week.  Stay over her place, or invite her to yours, and scope of out the habits that matter to you. Is she a super neat freak or messy? Does she stay up late all night or head to bed at 10pm, sharp? Does she get cranky after more than a few hours of interaction or is she cool AF?  Also, it might be a good idea to be intimate before you fly a few thousand miles away from home (unless you’re planning on keeping it PG on the trip). Emotions can run wild after the first time of getting it in, sometimes for the worse. You don’t want to knock it down, then be stuck in an awkward space for four days. Yikes!

3 Money. Cash. Dollars.

Whether you’re paying new bae’s way or going dutch, you need to get a clear idea of how you’re both handling cash flow on the getaway, and what kinds of activities are to be expected. Money is one of the top causes of relationship drama and it surely comes to light during a baecation. People have very polarizing views on who pays for what, especially during  trips.  For example, some women believe a man should finance every aspect of travel, while others believe dudes should cover the big-ticket items and the lady pays the rest. Some women are offended if you even mention going dutch, and others volunteer to pay their own way. Discuss all points in advance to avoid any crazy financial feuds while you’re supposed to be focused on unwinding.

4 Can We Talk?

Is all of your hangout time just fun or do you have more meaningful interactions? You can hang with some people for months and still be just as cool because the interactions are sporadic, and things can go very left after 72 hours of face-to-face time. If you’ve gotten through something of substance and depth with bae, whether intimate thoughts or an argument that you were able to work though, then the trust and comfortability is up, which is a solid sign that you’re ready for a baecation.

5  Know Your Status

Are you two on the same page on where y’all stand ? Clarifying your title and intentions is important, particularly if you’re inviting or suggesting the trip. That doesn’t necessarily mean you automatically are “together” but definitely be clear on what’s happening: friends with benefits v. working towards a relationship, exclusively together vs. seeing other people. Honesty is always the best policy, because you don’t want security coming to the room to deal with someone whose in their (hurt) feelings—especially if they’re yours. Or even worse, you don’t want to find the woman you’re feeling hooking up with a local or traveler because you didn’t clarify your “situation.”

6 Are We Out?

The Internet doesn’t just break-up happy homes, it stops some from even being created.  Some people have no problem posting the individual they’re casually dating on social media while others may never post bae, even when it’s official. It can get really tricky in 2017 when social media validates so many things for people. Will you get offended if you paid for the entire trip but bae’s Instagram looks like a solo adventure? Think about it. Ask the questions.

7 Issa Vibe

The biggest indicator of whether you should even try a trip is how you feel when you’re together.  Relationships are all about a vibe. Do you look forward to spending any kind of time with her? Do you laugh at each other’s offbeat humor? Are you happier when you see each other? Some people who have met digitally and their first real “date” was a mutual destination. There are those who go on one or two dates and know that it feels right to take that trip, while others may take up to a year or two to feel ready. It all depends on the overall natural chemistry that you have, or don’t. Listen to your gut!