Frustrated couple in bed

Source: Michael Poehlman / Getty

Want to know one reason a lot of women aren’t as pressed to have sex? There’s less of a payoff. Studies indicate that approximately 75% of women don’t have orgasms regularly, and out of those who do, it’s typically not due to vaginal penetration. Unfortunately, women who aren’t maximizing their sexual experience often embellish about how much they enjoy the act because society perpetuates a lie about how amazingly easy it is for them to get off. 

There is good news: the coochie can be trained. The better news? You can help. Every woman has orgasmic potential and it requires patience, practice and technique. The man who helps his partner(s) nut becomes worth his weight in cash money. Be that dude. The following tips will get you on the right path towards helping any woman achieve orgasmic bliss.

1 Help Her Chill Out

Many women report having a problem clearing their minds during sex. The first thing you can do to assist your partner is help her get focused on the session. Leave the phones and computers outside of the bedroom (unless one is playing music). Shut off the television. Create an atmosphere in the room that facilitates relaxation. Make sure the room is warm and smells good. Help her find a comfortable position on the bed. You can say something along the lines of, “This is our time. Relax your mind.” Women need to hear that it is okay to unwind and let go. Speak in soft tones to increase the feeling of intimacy.

 

2 Make the Entire Experience Pleasurable

The expectation to show up and climax on command is stressful and prevents the onset of the “big O.”  Focusing on the climax also causes women to miss out on the nuances of pleasure that can be experienced on the way to that peak. Instead, encourage her to pay attention to what’s feeling good along the way.  What’s causing changes in breath or making things juicier? Not only will it lead to immediate satisfaction, it’s also likely the path to orgasm.

 

3 Build Her Arousal With Foreplay

Foreplay is the pre-sex arousal process. Skipping it is like starting a car in the winter without giving it a little time to heat up— it will run but the ride won’t be as smooth or warm as it could be if you put in the time. Women’s bodies are the same. They need time to warm up in order to reach their full orgasmic capacity. The mind must first be stimulated in order for it to release the chemicals necessary to get the body ready for sex. Start before things are supposed to pop off. Text her and ask what she wants to experience with you. Tell her what you plan to do to her. Tell her what you’d like her to wear under her clothes. Once together, whisper in her ear. Shower together. Remember that foreplay is all about relaxing her mind so her body can prepare to fully enjoy pleasure during sex. Note: oral sex is not foreplay.

 

4 Learn a Spot Treatment

There are several erogenous zones between a woman’s legs and each carries a different sense of pleasure when stimulated. The C spot is the head of the clitoris and is the epicenter of the female orgasm. You can find the clitoris at the top of the vulva where the labia majora splits into two at the bottom of the pubis mons. The U spot is located on the underside of the glans of the clitoris and is known to encourage squirting orgasms. The U spot should not be stimulated without a well-lubricated finger or tongue. The G spot is located two inches within the vagina along its front wall and is also known to cause female ejaculation when stimulated. The A spot is located on the front wall of the vagina as well near the cervix. Deep penetration accesses this spot and when stimulated women can experience an increase in vaginal lubrication and waves of orgasmic pleasure. Knowing how to stimulate all of these erogenous zones is key to helping your girl experience the orgasms she desires. Take your time and explore these zones. Slow, steady strokes of the tongue, fingers and penis are essential to getting her juices flowing before entering into faster strokes.

Glamazon Tyomi is CASSIUS’ resident sexpert. Find out more about what makes her a pro here