You’ve finally had the conversation with BAE about trying the whole swinging thing, and you’re both on board. You’ve agreed on a couple that you recently became friends with via IG. Now, you’re on the brink of fulfilling one of your biggest sexual fantasies—be easy. You still need a few pointers to make this a smooth ride. Check out these simple tips to get your swinging off right.
Know What Type of Swinging You’re Into
Do you want to do a full swap where all partners are engaging in penetrative sex, or are you only into a soft swing where you each play sexually with the other couple without penetration? Are you more into watching your partner being penetrated and played with by the other couple or are you into having your partner watch you with someone else? Have a conversation with your partner about your collective boundaries in play to remain on the same page. Address any concerns during this conversation and confirm your trust in each other before moving forward. The thing to remember most about swinging is that insecurities will show up during the session with other partners, so check your ego at the door. Remember that you are both on the same team and your love can not be threatened by sex. Sex doesn’t establish love, and love can’t be threatened by anything. Swinging is all about experiencing new things with your sexuality and nothing more. When you have your boundaries established, be sure to communicate them to your play partners so they know how to proceed when the experience goes down.
Make STD Statuses Known
Good sexual health is a must, especially if you’re engaging in group sex. You want to leave the play in the same perfect health condition as when you arrived. Before entering into activity with your selected couple, make sure you get tested to have a recent test to present the couple and ask them to do the same. If presenting a current test with negative results is an issue for your playmates, this is a sign that they may not be on top of their sexual health. Don’t take the risk.
Pick the Right Location
The success of your swinging is rooted in the location of your play. You can choose between playing at your residence (or theirs), a hotel or even an actual swingers’ party. Wherever you decide to act out your erotic fantasy, make sure to have everything you need for the experience. Pack a play bag containing condoms, lube, lingerie, sex toys, toy cleaner, soap, baby wipes, a change of clothes, massage oil, candles, and whatever else you use during your sex play. The goal is to establish comfort for everyone involved no matter what location you choose. FYI: swingers’ parties are very public, so keep that in mind when making your decision.
Practice Safer Sex
When having group sex it is important to remember to practice safer sex through correct condom use and clear consent. When using condoms remember to switch them out before penetrating another partner, and never switch from anal penetration to vaginal penetration using the same condom. Before interacting with anyone within the group, make sure to get explicitly expressed consent that it is okay to proceed forward. Also be mindful of how much alcohol you, and your playmates, consume. Having a glass of wine or a shot is okay, but one too many drinks impairs the ability to give and receive consent. Remember to keep safety as your number one priority above all else.
Speak Up, and Listen
Checking in during the experience is important. Establish safe words or signals. When fantasies are being played out, excitement can be high and so can anxiety, so make sure to always remain connected to your partner even when you are having your fun. Don’t forget that you both showed up to the experience to have a great time together even when you are playing separately with other partners.
Glamazon Tyomi is CASSIUS’ resident sexpert. Follow her at @GlamazonTyomi.