On February 14 couples around the world will be bumping and grinding in ways they haven’t before. Valentine’s Day, aka the “Day of Love,” inspires people to experiment erotically. But let’s keep it 100: there’s a lot of pressure on men specifically to pull off something amazing— financially and sexually. Your income may be fixed, but you can do something about what’s going down in the bedroom. Unlike men, most women don’t have regular orgasms, so a dude who masters how a woman’s body responds is worth his weight in Louboutins. Getting to the elusive orgasm is not as hard as you may think, especially since women can cum 11 different ways. Forget a designer bag or dinner. The best gift you can give a woman for Valentine’s Day is assisting her in having at least one of those variations. There are a plethora of techniques that can be applied to assist in her pleasure-seeking journey. Want to earn some major points this Valentine’s Day? Use these tips to get her flowing.
Relax Her Mind and the Body Will Follow
The brain is the largest sex organ and is solely responsible for releasing the signals and chemicals necessary to begin the arousal process. The first step to unlocking her orgasmic potential is allowing her mind to be free of burdens to get her body prepared for sex. Pour her a glass of wine, or her favorite beverage, and just enjoy each other’s company. Talk. Kiss. Caress. Think beyond sex. Think about all of the “cheesy” moves in romantic comedies that the guy who ultimately gets the girl does (like cuddling, holding hands and forehead kisses). There’s a reason women love those flicks. Get on your rom-com game.
Get Your Massage Game Up
The goal of the massage is to arouse her erogenous zones to get her body excited about penetration. The female body hosts a network of erectile tissue that takes anywhere from 20-45 minutes to be fully engorged (v. male erectile tissue, which only requires a few minutes to become fully ready to receive pleasure). One of the major reasons women aren’t experiencing orgasms on the regular is because of the lack of time spent stimulating her body. When going for the massage, take the time to focus on her nipples and breasts. Nipple orgasms are one of the 11 orgasms women can have, and nipples are often glazed over. Play between her legs by massaging her inner thighs with well-lubricated hands (almond oil, sesame oil or coconut oil are great natural alternatives) and begin to massage her vulva. Massage her fleshy pubis mons as you make your way down to her outer lips. Use your fingers to trace her lips with light strokes, and part her lips to play with the folds of her inner labia. Make sure your fingers are lubricated well when you begin to play in this area. Squeeze her larger labia together lightly and rub them together to massage the clitoris and inner labia simultaneously. Play with her C spot (clitoris) by delivering light, quick finger strokes. Change up the strokes on her clitoris by stroking in long finger strokes from the top of the pubis mons to the opening of her vagina. Continue to encourage her to breathe deeply and focus on how her body is responding before you move into penetration with your fingers. When fingering her, remember to be gentle and to swirl your finger(s) around her G spot instead of stabbing and poking with them quickly. You can find the G spot within two inches of the vagina along the front wall. Dedicate at least 20 minutes of time this kind of foreplay, paying attention to what is creating the best responses—and doing more of it.
Double Up When Hitting It
We’re not talking condoms. Use your hands, and/or a vibrator. The clitoris is the epicenter of female pleasure, and its inner workings provide tremendous sensations to the vagina. By combining clitoral stimulation (exciting it with your fingers or a vibrator) along with penetration, you can increase her chances of having a blended orgasm (vaginal/clitoral/G-spot). Use a well-lubricated thumb to stimulate her clitoris while in the missionary position. If clitoral vibrators are her stimulation preference, then use the toy on its lowest setting as you slow-stroke, and increase the intensity of power of the vibration as you begin to stroke faster and deeper. Curve your stroke upward within two inches of her vagina to stimulate her G spot in this position, and aim deeper towards the cervix with the same upward stroke to aim for the A-spot (an erogenous zone behind the G-spot). Remember to check in with her to see what’s working and don’t forget to periodically kiss—an open mouth opens up the vagina, giving you deeper penetration.
Control Your Strokes
In order to move her closer to orgasm, you must be intentional with how you use your energy as you penetrate. When you first enter her vagina deliver slow, shallow strokes at its opening. Swirl the head of your penis around this area to increase her body’s anticipation for full penetration. Next, it’s time to start mixing things up. Speed up your shallow strokes and use another inch of your penis to penetrate a little deeper. The goal is to literally make the p*ssy beg for the D. How do you accomplish that? By teasing it. It is extremely important for you to focus your energy on pleasing her and to encourage her to focus on how you feel inside of her. Use long, slow strokes when you want to go to the furthest depths of her yoni and resist the urge to pummel the cooch because she’s juicing, or you can feel the back—this just means you’re hitting it right. Allow your bodies to meld together and notice how her vagina responds to you when you take this break, it should be pulling you back in. Play with the depth, speed and rotation of your strokes based on her responses.
Pay Attention to the P***y
Once you’ve run through a few different strokes in one position, move to another. You’re on the hunt for what feels good, then amazing, then orgasmic. Angled sex allows you to stroke the anterior and posterior walls of the vagina where erogenous zones sit. You can get there by using a pillow, propping up a leg or rotating the bodies. Resist the urge to do it all and focus on leisurely playing around with what feels good. What’s making her wetter? What’s making her moan louder? What made her kiss you more passionately? That’s bringing your A-game.
Glamazon Tyomi is CASSIUS resident sexpert because she’s a pro. Don’t believe it just watch.