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First and foremost, a word from the wise: a vacation is not the best time to find out whether you’re sexually compatible with a new partner. Hopefully before you hop on that plane or train, you two have already hopped in the sack to figure out the rhythm in your romp. But as with most situations in life, things don’t always go as planned, and so maybe a trip happened to be the place and time for it to go down.
If all goes well, getting it in on vacation can be amazing. You and your partner are away from your work, responsibilities, and everyday burdens that can be downers and put a slump on your sex game. On vacation, people feel free and uninhibited, which means they are more willing to step outside of their comfort zones and try new and exciting things.
Sounds great except, there is an alternate ending. What if the sex is wack?
The thing about a baecation is that you’re stuck with your person and it’s non-stop, one-on-one time. In most cases, if the sex isn’t what you both envisioned, you’ll have to put in a little effort to make it through the next few days. Here are a few things to keep in mind… at least until you return home.
1Sometimes first encounters can be awkward for a new couple, but practice makes perfect. You two may be coming from totally different ends of the pleasure spectrum and may not be speaking the same language in the sack. That doesn’t mean you can’t get there. This is where being friends is also key. Talk things out a bit. Is it nerves? Technique? Stamina? Figure out what’s not working for both parties, reconsider how to make things better and try again. The biggest thing is to keep things light. Sex should be fun.
2Set the tone for something a little more fun to take the pressure off making it a “moment.” Maybe the hotel bed (with roses, wine and music) was an overkill that created too much pressure for both of you. Be open to where and when the chemistry arises naturally. For example, if things get popping while you’re on the beach or talking on the balcony don’t kill the vibe. Get things started out there and immediately take that energy to wherever you can get it in without getting arrested.
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3If you’ve truly given up, and know for sure that your privates are about as compatible as oil and water, don’t get in a funk about it. It’s cool to be “just a friend” when you get back. For the sake of the vacation, hold on to whatever it is that you enjoyed about the other person from the jump. Make the best of your time and situation by staying positive while dialing things back a bit. Fill up your time with activities to take the focus off sex. At least you’ll leave with some good memories.
Rondel Holder is the founder of travel site Soul Society 101.
