HomeThe Well

Ask Tyomi: I Want to Perform Oral Sex on My Girl But She Has Herpes

Morning love

Source: kupicoo / Getty

Each week CASSIUS’ resident sex expert Glamazon Tyomi answers questions from clients and fans. This week, she talks to a man who describes himself as an “Oral Enthusiast” and has concerns on how to safely enjoy getting it in with a partner who has a contagious STD Read on.

Peace Queen,

I have a question that I know you won’t judge me for. I want to eat this girl out that I’ve been talking to for a few weeks now, but she opened up to me and told me that she has genital herpes. Is there a way for me to go down on her without contracting the disease?  I want to protect myself and still enjoy myself.

Signed Oral Enthusiast

Hey Oral Enthusiast,

Thank you for reaching out to me. You’re right, I would never judge you for the things you wish to experience sexually. I appreciate you for reaching out to me for help with this because it’s a common issue. Yes, there is a way you can protect yourself if you wish to go down on your partner who has herpes. The virus is spread through skin-to-skin contact, so placing a non-porous barrier between her vulva and your mouth is the key to protecting yourself from contracting the disease. The main thing to remember is to avoid going down if she is having an outbreak. Herpes is highly contagious when it is in the outbreak phase, and you can still contract herpes even if she doesn’t have an outbreak. Whenever you decide to perform oral sex on her, you can do so safely in a number of ways. You can buy a dental dam from your local pharmacy and use it to cover her entire vulva. Dental dams come in latex and non-latex versions, and some are even flavored. You may be able to get dental dams for free from your dentist by simply asking. If dental dams are too thick for you, you can easily take a latex or non-latex male condom (or a female condom) and cut it up the side. Once it’s split, you can use the latex material to spread over her vulva before diving in. If you don’t have a dental dam or a condom to split, you can also use latex or non-latex gloves to do the trick. Just make sure they aren’t powdered. Make sure to cut the fingers off and cut up the side near the thumb to have enough material to work with when it’s spread out. If none of these options work for you, you can use a non-microwavable plastic wrap or non-porous plastic wrap that can be purchased on Amazon.com or at your local grocery store. Glyde Health also has a Sheer Dam that has been formulated specifically for oral sex protection in mind that you can try. They are vegan, come in a variety of fruity colors and flavors and can be found on its website. Whichever option you use, remember to discard the barrier after use.

Enjoy your experience safely.

Glamazon Tyomi

Glamazon Tyomi knows all things sex. Don’t believe it? Just watch. Follow her @GlamazonTyomi.