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Each week our resident sexpert Glamazon Tyomi answers questions from fans and clients. This week, she responds to a letter from a man who’s trying to figure out how to get closer to a woman with a crazy hectic schedule.


Hi Tyomi,

I really admire your work. My question: How does one date a very lovely, but very busy woman?

Thank you so much for your time,


Hey Ken,

This is a common thought among men, especially during a time when female entrepreneurs are dominating the market. More women have to split their time between work…and, well, everything else. If she’s working on a big project/venture or a caregiver for loved ones, her time will be limited.

The first thing I suggest you do is to establish your purpose for dating this particular woman. A few ideas for purposeful dating are “to join in love,” “to heal together,” “to have fun and experience innocence with each other,” and “to add value to each other’s lives.” Your choice here will illuminate how much you should invest in trying to connect with your busy lady. It will also give your efforts deeper meaning than just planning meals and outings for mere entertainment.

The second suggestion is to develop ways to work around her schedule. Here are some tips.

1.Set Up Satellite Dates. Bring or schedule a meal near her to eliminate her travel time. Even if she only has an hour to join with you for a bite, it’s worth it. Putting in the effort to meet her where she’s at goes a long way. A busy woman doesn’t want to feel pressured to choose between obligations and romance.  If she is out of town, ask for a meet up there. You can plan a spa or dinner date for the evenings when her schedule is free.


2. Get a Little FaceTime. Video correspondence allows you to develop a face-to-face connection without disturbing her workflow. You can even plan virtual date nights when you watch movies, enjoy meals or take walks together via technology.



3.Plan Ahead. Understand last-minute movies, travel or dinners are off the table—for now. With that in mind, schedule your dates or quality time well in advance. Be sure to talk about what’s going on the week of your plans so you can anticipate needs and avoid cancellations.


There’s just one other thing you have to remember: be upfront about what you want. Be honest about where you see the relationship going and express your commitment to growing with her over time. Revealing why you want to be in her life (go back to your purpose) allows her to make a fully informed decision about how much she will compromise to make time for a relationship to blossom.  A woman about her business doesn’t want to play games in love. Be sincere, and most importantly, be unattached to how this relationship plays out. If you feel that your advances are being waved off, take a step back and let her come to you when she is ready to engage. Your loving approach and intentions can only go as far as she will allow them to.

Ultimately, she will make the time to deepen your connection if your purposes and energy align. Just relax. Focus on being with her when she isn’t in boss mode, and make the time you spend together relaxing, fun and free of work responsibilities.

Hope this helps!