Walking around with a bottle of Hennessy and your girl on your arm is cool until you’re in the sunken place almost 10 years later. So on some grown man sh*t, it’s time to learn when to put down the hard liquor and be a little classier in your hoodness. To get you up on knowledge, Dustin is going to show you how to drink wine like an adult, rather than a filthy, uncultured college kid.
In the summer, you’re probably on the beach somewhere, getting drunk at brunch, or poolside attempting to take in all the sights. For those occasions, rosé is your best bet. From basketball shorts and a dirty white tee to seersucker suits at some establishment you know damn well you don’t belong in, order some rosé.
Next up is red wine, which pairs perfectly with steak (which we also taught you how to cook perfectly a few episodes ago). See here, if you’re trying to impress someone with a steak dinner anytime soon. Oh, and show them how well read you are while you’re at it. If you’re making steak, burgers, or even grass-fed beef for your socially conscious bae, red wine is all you need.
Last is white wine, and no, Dustin isn’t referring to a group of people talking about white lives matter bullshit. It’s what you grab when eating seafood. It’s also a safe bet for when you just wanna drink a whole bottle alone and stuff it at the bottom of the recycling can so no one will know.
If you wanna impress people, grab a stemmed wine glass to enjoy your fermented grapes. If you don’t really give a f*ck, just grab a red solo cup. It all tastes the same.
Oh, and buy a wine bottle opener. Like a condom, you never know when it’ll come in handy—and that’s some grown man sh*t.