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Sex can become routine in frequency but never, ever in execution.
One of the best ways to keep things popping in—and out of—the bedroom is by sharing (finally) the kinky stuff you’ve been daydreaming about but haven’t had the courage to introduce to your partner. Of course, the big question is how. What exactly do you say to your lady when you want her to try something a bit… well lets just say, different? According to King Noire, a master fetish trainer and owner of RoyalfetishXXX.com, the best course of action is to just say it. “Chances are that if you’ve been with someone for a while, she likely pays attention to what you like. She’s with you. She loves you. And, she also wants to do something new,” he tells CASSIUS. “Men think women aren’t sexual and it’s completely wrong. Men have to realize that women are complete human beings, from intelligence to sexuality.”
So…if you’re bored in bed, bae likely is, too.
When it comes to knocking it down, King Noire is a pro. Don’t believe it? You can literally watch on his site.
“Chances are that if you’ve been with someone for a while, she likely pays attention to what you like. She’s with you. She loves you. And, she also wants to do something new.”
CASSIUS asked the master to share some lessons on how to make a kinky proposal no one can refuse. Here’s what he had to say:
Anal Action
“First, and foremost be honest and let your partner know that you’re interested in anal sex. If you haven’t brought it up on the past you can introduce the topic with porn, a gif or meme. Some women will feel very passionate about their ‘no,’ and it’s important to respect that choice. Whether it’s a yes or no, you have to open the lines of communication. If your partner is interested, don’t rush into it. Try the tongue first because it isn’t going to penetrate as deeply as the penis, which automatically reduces any anxiety and increases comfort. When you’re ready to advance try a finger or small sex toy. Start with your smallest to get the body used to the sensation and move along based on level of enjoyment—your partner’s, not just yours. When it’s time to introduce the penis remember to take things slow and let your partner guide you. Last, always make sure the area is nice and wet. Don’t skimp on lubricant.”
Three’s Not a Crowd
“Talk to your partner about her interest level. If you’re both open, suggest that you start with a soft launch, such as going to a club and dancing intimately with another person together and see how you feel about the vibe— if either of you are even a little uncomfortable you should stop there. If you both like it, talk about whether you want the third party in a sexual encounter to be someone you know (this person will be around after the episode) or a hit it and quit it (someone who will disappear). Last, let go of the idea that a threesome is all about the male’s pleasure. If it’s two women, understand that the ladies may connect, so you have to be open to your partner exploring her bisexuality. Remember, the experience is meant to give everyone pleasure.”
Pain and Pleasure
“S&M (sadism and masochism) play requires a lot of trust between those who engage. It’s best for novices to begin exploration with Velcro ties or stretchers, something you or your partner can get out of easily if things start to feel uncomfortable. You both should also establish your safety words, a phrase that is completely non-sexual and cannot be confused with a passionate declaration in the moment, to make it clear that it’s time to stop (ex. pineapples). Whenever the word is uttered you must cease the action. Once comfort zones and preferences are established, you can up the ante.”
