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Too many people look at foreplay as an unnecessary step in the sexual experience. But, no matter how many bodies you’ve slain, your game isn’t complete—think a basketball player who sucks at free throws—until you develop mastery in this area.

Men and women both respond to sexual stimuli differently. In fact, women need an entirely different type of stimulation in order to feel prepared for penetration. Men respond positively to images and can become aroused within seconds of seeing something that stimulates their sexual sensibilities. But women need more than the sight of flesh and d*ck to get her juices flowing. Foreplay doesn’t mean going down on her or simply sucking on her nipples. There is an art to creating a vibe where she a woman feels comfortable enough to get out of her head and into the moment.  Foreplay can begin before you enter the bedroom and clothes are removed. Increase your skills as a conscious lover and incorporate these simple tips into your foreplay routine.


1 Make it Tight

Pulling her into your arms for a warm embrace is the best way to start off intimate foreplay. Wrap your arms around her and bring her body close to yours, pressing your body against hers. Breathe deeply and allow your energy to sync with hers. Being in the arms of someone you’re vibing with is comforting and creates a space of safety. Warm her up by communicating through your embrace that you’re there to please her. Kiss her lips, rub your lips up against her neck and even kiss her forehead. Whenever you touch her body, send out passionate energy.


2 Worship the Booty

Once you’re in an embrace slide your hands down onto her booty. Cup both of her cheeks, no matter how big or small they may be and give them a squeeze. The butt is an erogenous (pleasure) zone and connects to the thigh near the vagina. By cupping the cheeks close to where they meet, your pinky fingers will be just shy of brushing her lips. Stimulate her vulva by shaking her cheeks a little or rubbing them in a circular motion. Playing with her body while hugged up is a simple way to say, “I’m prepping you to get in that ass.”


3 Whisper in Her Ear

While holding her, you can whisper compliments and suggestive statements into her ear, especially when you know she’s had a few rough days or has been working hard toward her goals. You can also remind her to relax. You can say things like, “Don’t worry babe, I’m going to take good care of you,” “You deserve to relax and receive my love right now,” or, “You have all of me in this moment, it’s okay to let go.” Whatever you say, make sure it’s filled with sincerity. Women need the time to decompress and get out of their heads before being able to open up to enjoy sex fully. Turning her mind on is necessary.


4 Play Between Her Legs

It’s best to continue to tease your partner instead of assuming she’s wet and ready for you to enter her. The goal is to have her p*ssy dripping wet with desire. The vagina extends and moistens as she becomes turned on. Before removing her undergarments (if she’s wearing any) play with her lips and inner thighs first. Use your fingers to trace the imprint of her lips within her panties. Tickle her clit through and stroke her vaginal opening with your fingers— just to let it know you’re there. Massage her inner thighs with your hands and mouth. Use your tongue to tease her clitoris. You will be surprised at how her body responds when you speak life directly to her p*ssy. Play as much as possible between her legs before you remove her bottoms. You can smell when she is getting wet.

Final Note

The most important thing to remember when practicing foreplay is that it’s a ritual, not a treat. Take time to learn what each lover requires to be at peak arousal.  Let her feel your erection to let her know you’re delaying your gratification for hers.  Once she is wet and ready, she will be begging for you to come inside. Enjoy the connection you have with your lady in the moment.

Glamazon Tyomi is CASSIUS’ resident sexpert. Follow her at @GlamazonTyomi.