Fox News’ resident muppet for white nationalism, Tucker Carlson, just had what has to be among the stupidest conversations about “cancel culture” with has-been musician and current MAGA mascot Kid Rock.
“Why haven’t you been canceled?” Carlson asked the guy who’s so far past the prime of his career that we might as well all wait and “cancel” him posthumously.
“I am uncancelable,” Kid Rock, whose real name is Robert James Ritchie, responded. “I’m not in bed with any big corporate things. At the end of the day, there’s nobody I’m beholden to—no record companies, no corporate interests, no nothing. You can’t cancel me. I love it when they try.”
That’s a weird way of essentially saying, “I can’t be canceled because I’m not famous anymore,” but OK.
Listen, Ritchie is technically right if we’re describing the vague, nondescript concept that is “cancel culture” as celebrities losing corporate endorsements for making statements that are bigoted and/or ignorant. But that still doesn’t explain why the guy who sang songs nobody born after ’95 remembers is so proud of his uncancelability. (Do y’all remember when “canceled” was just something Black people say among ourselves about celebs we personally didn’t mess with anymore? Now it’s become so mainstream and colonized that I’m out here writing “uncancelablility” like that’s an actual word.)
To be clear, there’s no canceling Kid Rock because the only people who are still fans of Kid Rock are MAGA rubes in double-wides who bathe in community mudholes and think the District of Columbia is a foreign land full of Mexicans.
How would one “cancel” somebody the vast majority of people don’t give a sh** about? Only Carlson—a man who’s so out of touch with reality he’s wondering why the cartoon design of M&Ms isn’t fulfilling his wet dream requirements anymore—would ask someone who is demonstrably irrelevant why he hasn’t been canceled.
I mean, why hasn’t Robert E. Lee been canceled?