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Lorna, is that you?

A lovesick Arizona woman is behind bars after reportedly stalking and sending 65,000 text messages to a man she met online and went out on a date with—wait for it—one single time. According to USA Today, 31-year-old Jacqueline Ades sent up to 500 messages to the man a day. She was even showing up at his home and office. Jesus, take the entire wheel.

“I felt like I met my soulmate and I thought we would just do what everybody else did and we would get married and everything would be fine,” she said during a recent jailhouse interview with KPHO-TV. And no, she doesn’t find her behavior to be peculiar. In her eyes, she’s only acting out of “love,” and love is “not perfect.”

“That’s because they’re selfish and they’ve never actually loved someone without actually getting something back,” Ades continued. “The point of love is to keep giving it. That’s the math equation.”

If that doesn’t send a chill through your bones, court documents show that she began sending threats to the man after he had the police escort her from his property. “Oh what would I do w ur blood! … Id wanna bathe in it,” one example read. In another, Ades referred to herself as the “new Hitler.”

The clincher: she was found taking a bath in the man’s home at the time of her arrest, during which a large butcher knife was reportedly in the passenger seat of her car.

If the story sounds familiar, that’s because it’s eerily similar to that of Orange Is the New Black‘s Lorna Morello Muccio. In Season 2 Episode 4, it’s revealed that Christopher, the man Lorna is head over heels for, is actually a man she had only been on a date with once. When things didn’t work out, she set out on a crazed vendetta against him and his fiancée, sending a series of threatening voicemails, showing up on their Atlantic City vacation, and planting a bomb under his fiancée’s vehicle.


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