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Every few months, rapper T.I. gets outed for cheating on his ride or die, Tiny. At this point, there’s no need to throw T.I. under the luxury bus. Not only is he masterful at charming the crap out of his lady, but he’s also adept at getting the masses to go from carrying blow torches to blowing him.

T.I. isn’t alone in his anti-monogamy stance. There are men and women around the world who do better in polyamorous situations. These are people who like having a main person but like to mix it up periodically. Still, when things get messy, and feelings are hurt, the common retaliation¬†is revenge cheating. You don’t need T.I. and Tiny drama to have considered going outside of your relationship to get back at the person you’re feeling. But folks who get cheated on, especially repeatedly, typically aren’t built for thunderous clap backs. Here’s why.

A Cheater’s Heart is Hard to Break

The whole premise of revenge cheating is to make the person who broke your heart feel the agony you felt when you learned of his or her side action. Unfortunately, a person who is okay cheating isn’t as attached to fidelity as the person who isn’t. Therefore, while he or she may wild out (break things, yell or even cry), the crazy behavior isn’t a sign of love, it’s ego. He or she will never feel how you felt, or care as much as you did, and will likely rebound with some new booty.

You Gotta Find the Right Cheatee

Cheating with the person’s best friend or relative sounds cold-blooded in the moment, but it won’t crush bae, or likely sever the other relationship. Same goes for smacking bellies with the person’s nemesis. Serial cheaters are built differently. They don’t give full loyalty or love, and deep down don’t expect it in return.

It Kicks Off a Cycle

You cheat. Cool. Guess what? Your cheating ass partner is going to use that as leverage and justification in the future. So now you have to decide whether you get more satisfaction in telling the person, knowing it will detonate a free booty bomb, or keep it to yourself as personal ammo for your hurt feelings.

You Really Don’t Want to Cheat

Cheaters enjoy the rush of conquering new grounds, secrets and feeling something different. You’ve got to be in that mindset to get off on revenge cheating. You have to want to be intimate with another party. You have to get off on sneaking around. You have to look forward to sharing your time and space with someone else. If you don’t, you’re still losing.