If you’ve been checking out Instagram posts this summer and are realizing that you “missed” some choice events this season, it’s time you accept the hard truth: it probably wasn’t an accident. Chances are, if you used to receive tons of invites but no longer have a seat at the proverbial table, you’ve been a not-so-great guest.
Still in denial? Check the offenses below and be honest…at least with yourself.
1 Are your party contributions trash?
Hosting a get together can quickly become a major expense. So these days, many invites will either note “BYOB” or “BYO side dish.” You’ve likely been kicked to the curb if you’ve repeatedly shown up empty handed, brought something that was decidedly only for you or spent less than the equivalent of a gallon of gasoline on your item. Stop being cheap. Step your game all the way up. Start by sending a little retroactive thank you gift to your favorite hosts from the past and wait for the asks to come rolling in.
2 Do you follow house rules?
Some people are sticklers about their homes— others just want folks not to act like damn savages. Either way, anyone willing to host, cook and clean up after you deserves respect. As such, show your appreciation for that work by acting like you’ve got some home training. Still nah? Then trust that the bomb you dropped in the bathroom without thoroughly flushing or the mud you tracked on the rug were noted—and nixed you off the next guest list.
3 Do you get too wasted?
Are you a full-blown adult who still doesn’t know how to hold his or her liquor? Throwing up in the corner at more than one get together, or getting drunk to the point where you have to be assigned a chaperone for the night makes you a dope host’s worst nightmare. No one wants to spend an evening worried about your immaturity. You have two options: don’t drink or don’t drink. Let your friend know you’ll stay dry the whole night to win back his or her trust.
4 Are you always the “woe is me” friend?
We all have issues in life. Getting things off your chest and sharing with friends is important for your mental health, but there’s a time and a place for everything—and it’s not during large, group events. Anyone hosting a get together is looking to bring the best vibes possible so that people leave feeling refreshed. Save those heavy conversations and downer vibes for some other time. It’s not a support group. Issa party.
5 Do you act like you’re the host?
When you get invited to someone’s function, common courtesy mandates, unless otherwise noted, the invitation is for you (plus maybe a guest) and is non-transferable. If you’re the type of person that assumes you can add your own guest list of famished, unannounced friends, you’ve become a financial liability. Cut it out.