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Ding dong the Night King is dead thanks to Arya and her slick assassin moves that gave her an opening to stab the “horned bastard,” turning him into crushed ice thus bringing a swift end to the Great War. Episode 4 focuses on the aftermath of the battle and the upcoming fight with the devil herself Cersei Lannister.

It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

Despite the army of the living coming out on top, Winterfell got its ass handed to them, and we saw a lot of people die fighting the Night King’s army of wights. We are immediately reminded of the heavy losses as we witness Daenerys say goodbye to Sir Jorah of the friend zone, Sansa bidding adieu to Theon who fought to the bitter end and Samwell mourning over the last remaining member of the Night’s Watch Dolorous Edd. The only thing missing from the scene was Podrick singing Boyz II Men’s hit “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday.” Jon finally steps up and says some words about the fallen before they send all of the dead off to the afterlife by burning their corpses.

With that out of the way its time to feast and drink. And why not? They just survived one of the greatest battles ever. The wine is flowing like Hennessy at an open bar event, and everyone is BIG HORNY…except Daenerys. Before we get to see how salty she truly is now that she is not next in line for the iron throne, she decides to name Gendry Lord of Storm’s End, recognizing he is Robert Baratheon’s last living seed. While the move may make her seem like a team player to everyone, there is a method to her madness. Her joy quickly turns into hate when she sees her lover *coughs* nephew getting love from everyone for his heroics as she realizes they’re not really rocking with her like she thought they would.

Other moments around the dining hall include Jamie, Tyrion, Brienne, and Podrick play a drinking game. The Hound and Sansa have a much-needed conversation, and Tormund gets his heart broken by his favorite big woman but recoups when he receives a box offering from someone else.

Ayra Is No Lady

Fresh off being named lord even though he had no idea he’s being used, Gendry runs to go tell the hero of Winterfell, Ayra, the fantastic news. Unlike everyone else who is celebrating, she is making sure her aim stays on point because yes she is that bitch. Gendry is still caught up in the rapture after having his soul snatched by Ayra and wants her to marry him and rule Storm’s End by his side. She has other plans and being his lady isn’t one of them, she says thanks but no thanks, shutting Gendry down and getting back to training. She’s so coldblooded.

Anyway, Ayra has unfinished business in King’s Landing and joins up with her “buddy” The Hound who is also heading in the same direction for the same reason. Just like old times the two embark on another journey to take care of whatever business they have to do there. We just hope its The Hound putting his dead brother The Mountain out of his misery and Ayra taking out Cersei somehow. You never know with this show, though.

Brienne of Tarth Gets Her Cakes Knighted By Jamie

When the Winterfell wine is in the system ain’t no tellin’ will Jamie f***k em, or will he diss em. The sexual tension between these two was so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. Who knew all it would take is Tyrion asking Brienne if she was a still a virgin and after the question was posed, Brienne took her 6’3″ cakes to her room with Jaimie and his one good hand following right behind her.

As you can imagine the love scene was as awkward as you thought it would be between the two knights as they struggled to remove their clothing. One thing is definitely for sure: Brienne wanted Jaime to put a hurting on that box for a long time, and her wish came true. Unfortunately, after she was taken to pound town a few times, she found out the hard way that Jamie ain’t sh*t and that he still has a love for his crazy ass sister. That Lannister peen is the devil. For the first time ever the usually tough as nails Brienne shows us a more vulnerable side as she tearfully tries to convince Jaimie to stay, but he makes his case about his ain’t sh*tness before riding off to King’s Landing to either be by Cersei’s side or to add Queen Slayer to his name.

Now before he came to this decision, Bronn popped on him and Tyrion while they were having a conversation about him taking down Brienne. Armed with the Joffrey’s crossbow, Bronn informs the brothers he was sent on a mission by their sister to kill them both in exchange for the lordship of Riverrun and some gold. Tyrion being the fast thinker has a counteroffer with Highgarden. Bronn decides not to kill Tyrion and Jamie but instead opts to wait to see who comes out the victor before completing his task, but his bet is on Daenerys winning the war being that she has two dragons on her side—well one now but we will get that in a second.

The Rise of The Mad Queen?

We mentioned Daenerys’ Targaryen blood is starting to show its real form especially knowing her claim for the Iron Throne is in jeopardy. After the big feast, she decides to pay her boo/nephew a visit in his quarters and things get heated. But the idea of them being related kicks in and before the clothes can come off the action stops. Dany is on her Musiq Soulchild sh*t and is going “Halfcrazy” and just wants her man back but the idea of Jon having a more legit claim to the throne than she does is killing the chemistry. You would think it was because she is his damn aunt, but those Targaryens are just a special breed of weird.

Despite her being worried, Jon assures his Queen that he is loyal and wants no part of the throne. She basically says yeah that’s all good and everything, but if you really want to prove your loyalty, you will tell Sam and Bran to keep their mouths shut. Jon is on board with the idea, but to an extent, he feels he needs to tell Sansa and Ayra the truth about him and Daenerys is like nah, that’s not it chief. She doesn’t want anyone to know especially Sansa because she knows the Lady of Winterfell can’t stand her dragon riding ass the revelation that Jon is the true heir to the throne would only make matters worse.

Jon, of course, doesn’t listen to Daenerys and decides to tell Bran to let  Sansa and Ayra in on his secret making them promise not to tell anyone and reiterating to the both of them that she is the queen, periodt. Both of his sisters are not feeling that, but Jon as Lord of The North has spoken. Now if you thought Sansa would be able to keep that information to herself, you were dead wrong. She for whatever reason tells Tyrion about the revelation of her brother’s true lineage and that only makes matters worse before they set off to go take down Cersei.

While on their way to King’s Landing by boat, Daenerys’ trusted advisors Varys and Tyrion are having a convo about their queen’s mental fitness. Varys is worried that the mad gene is kicking in, but Tyrion does his best to get Varys back in line, but the bald advisor is very weary and feels that Jon would be a better ruler being that he doesn’t want the throne at all. Little does he know there are going to be a set of actions that will set Dany on the road to madness.

Before the fleet can get any closer to King’s Landing, they are surprised by Euron and the Golden Company. Armed with giant crossbows invented by Cersei’s hand Qyburn, they take out Jon’s dragon Rhaegal quickly with Daenerys and Drogon deciding they don’t want the smoke Euron is bringing. With the dragons out of the picture, Uncle Euron focuses his attention on the fleet and destroys all of the ships with Tyrion, Grey Worm and the crew managing to escape except one person Missandei.

Somehow someway we quickly find out that Euron captures Daenerys loyal subject Missandei. With a small force of Unsullied warriors, her last remaining dragon, Grey Worm and Tyrion, they pay a visit to King’s Landing to negotiate Cersei’s terms of surrender. Qyburn comes out to speak on behalf of his queen basically saying there is no chance in hell she is surrendering to Daenerys. Tyrion is tired of talking to the maester and decides to try and reason with whatever little bit of humanity left in his sister urging her to consider the safety of her gut full of “Greyjoy juice.” That sh*t went in one ear and out the other as Cersei tells Missandei to say any last words and she screams DRACARYS  which translates cook all of these people up and show no remorse.

Cersei looks at her zombie knight giving him the signal, and he chops Missandei’s head clean off while Daenerys and poor Grey Worm watches his cuddle bae’s headless corpse fall to the ground. So she lost one of her children, two of her most loyal subjects in Jorah and Missandei. Yeah, the rise of the mad queen is evident, war is on the horizon, and somebody is about to catch all of the smoke. Will it be Cersei or Daeny? We will find out next week when the battle we have been waiting for finally kicks off.

By The Numbers: Game Of Thrones Gets Broken Down
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