We know you’ve got a nasty bucket list for #Summer17. Whether you’re bae-d up or got a roster of baddies to choose from, you’ve probably been thinking about all the ways you want to get it in this season, right? Right.
As usual, CASSIUS’ Sex by Location is here to help you ensure there’s some shaking and screaming in your future. Be sure to take notes — ’cause your head’s about to be spinning with possibilities after reading this list.
Location: The Cookout
Barbecues are a Summer staple because they’re a super chill environment—who doesn’t like them, seriously? Everyone is kicking it in the sunshine, throwing back drinks, and eating good food. But if shorty’s grinding his or her hips a little too well to “Wild Thoughts” and got you feeling some type of way, it might be a good time to “disappear.”
Now, where you go to sneak and get one off completely depends on who’s hosting the event. If it’s a family member’s house and you want to keep it respectful, you can disappear to one of two places: the bathroom or the basement. Both give you the highest probability of allowing you 5-10 minutes to get the job done without causing a scene. If it’s the homie’s house though, you might actually be able to get away with using the bedroom for a good 15 minutes to put some work in. Just let ’em know—the nod will do—lock the door and get it poppin’.
Location: The Music Festival
If your bae’s hands are inclined to end up somewhere they shouldn’t be during the Weeknd’s set, this part is for you. Festival sex is the one scenario that requires you show up prepared for the possibility. Why? You want to make sure you’re each wearing clothes that give you easy access—no tight shorts, rompers/”romphims” or jeans allowed in this situation. Think stretchy pants, thin dresses and any other item that maximizes access to points of entry. Due to the massive crowd size, you want to slip in and out with no problems. While actual intercourse might be a little impossible in one of these situation, that doesn’t mean you can’t improvise. Let your fingers do the talking as they slip into your partner’s underwear amidst the craziness of the crowd moving and keep his or her body entertained as you both enjoy the show.
Location: The Car
Having a ride makes public sex a lot easier, especially during the summer. Thinking of a quickie on a road trip? Car. Need more than the typical pep talk on your way home from work? Car. Depending on the size of your partner and/or the vehicle that you’re working with, this might prove to be a little challenging. Back seats are nothing but net. But if you take a few moments to move the front seats back, tilt headrests and find the perfect position, you might be able to hit the spots you never knew existed. If all else fails? Some good head and hands action never hurt nobody.
Watch Team CASSIUS discuss the ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ of Summer sex: