Couple sitting at table in pub

Source: Matt Dutile / Getty

Please, don’t be that dude. There’s a guy in every crew who’s crushing hard on a girl who’s just not checking for him. He tells all of these awesome stories about what a great time they had on their last date. He goes out of his way to prevent her from experiencing any of the typical discomforts most folks shrug off. He thinks of ways to spoil her. He’s doing the most. And in his frenzy he doesn’t recognize that she gives absolutely zero f-cks about him, or the relationship he’s trying to build.

Now, men like the chase—there have been countless books and studies breaking down why dudes are hunters by nature. To make things clear, this article isn’t referring to:

  • The girl you know who really likes you but is playing by “the rules” to make sure you’re serious.
  • The girl you’re stalking.

It is about the woman who will go out on dates with you, pick up when you call and even let you hit when she’s in the mood…yet, you still know there’s something missing. Now, this woman’s indifference is stroking your animalistic desire to conquer, but it’s not love—it isn’t even like. You’re her seat filler. It may be for the perks, or she may be nursing a broken heart and want someone who’s panting at her feet. Whatever the reason is, she’s taking advantage of you. If you have healthy self-esteem you know that you should be with someone who reciprocates the kindness you’re offering.

So if you don’t want to be that guy who’s unhappy in a relationship, nix any woman who exhibits any of the following behaviors.

She never initiates a call or text.

While some women think it’s savvy to let the man pursue, if you’ve been dating for a few weeks and have never received a “Hey :)” text, you don’t have her heart.

She shows no interest in your professional life.

Anyone who plans to be in your life for more than a season has a vested stake in your happiness and prosperity. If she’s not asking what’s next or helping you plot on how to make things better, she’s planning her exit.

She never offers to pay—not even the tip.

It’s cool for men to be chivalrous but if you’ve been rocking with someone for two or three months and she hasn’t opened her wallet—it can be for something as small as concessions at a movie— she’s literally not investing in your happiness.

She hasn’t offered to help you cook.

99 percent of women—even those who burn toast—will at least offer to help you prep a meal or fold laundry if they’re around simply because it’s the polite thing to do. If she doesn’t, ditch her.

She won’t kiss you during sex.

You’ve got a pro if she G’s you like this, but here’s a little secret: women like good D. So if she’s gotten a taste and you’re laying it down, she may keep coming back. But if ya’ll aren’t kissing and getting in missionary style, you’re just a great story for her next girls trip.

She doesn’t remember your stories.

Playa…she’s not paying attention. Let.It.Go.