Taking a break

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Thanksgiving was popping. There’s just one issue: you didn’t invite the person you’ve been seeing and she/he isn’t pleased. Whether you sent the obligatory “Happy Thanksgiving” text the day of, or checked in on Turkey Day Eve and ghosted the day of, this individual feels curved.

Let’s start with the facts. You are absolutely not obligated to introduce anyone to your family and friend circle until you are ready. You shouldn’t do it out of guilt. You shouldn’t move due to anxiety. However, it’s natural for a person to be disappointed when their expectations—whether fair or not—aren’t met. You’re dealing with hurt feelings. If you’re not into the person do nothing, but if you want to see where the relationship can go, do this.

1 Do Apologize

Be very clear. This apology isn’t because you should have invited the person you’re dating. It’s because you should have handled the situation better or because you realize that you hurt her/him and that wasn’t your intention. Be sincere and let the person know that the choice wasn’t a reflection of how you value the relationship.

2Do Share Your Perspective

It’s time to be really honest. Why didn’t you bring the person? Would it be too much family pressure? Was there a chance your ex would stop by? Were you simply not ready? Let the individual know the real reason so she/he can make an informed decision about what’s next.

3Do Say What You’d Like to Happen Next

Do you want to continue dating? Do you want to slow things down? Did this make you realize how important this individual really is to you? Share how you feel. You have nothing to lose.

4Do Address the Elephant in the Room

What’s up with Christmas and New Year’s? Inevitably the person you’re dating will want to know whether you plan to spend the other holidays together. Talk it out. If it’s a no, say it now. It’s a good way to level set and you’ll know that if the relationship moves forward you don’t have to be worried about getting hounded.

5Don’t Avoid Calls

If you didn’t speak over the holidays, it’s time to stop ghosting. Man or woman up and speak your mind.

6 Don’t Make Up a Lie

Between Instagram and Facebook almost every move is accounted for, so making up a lie is a waste of time. Folks eventually find out.

7Don’t Post Images Before You Talk

There are few things worse than seeing a picture of a person you like having fun without you…during a holiday. If you want things to work, post images as a #TBT after things have settled down.

8Don’t Offer to Make It Up

Missing a holiday isn’t the same as skipping a movie. There aren’t do-overs. You can’t make it up. What you can do is make a better decision next time. Do that.