Young couple at home in bed smiling

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So your girl sucks at riding you, and her lackluster skills are starting to become uncomfortably annoying.

It’s a common issue. Riding is a skill. And for some reason, too many women are slacking when it comes to putting in that work. Sending her to a pole dancing or sex toy seminar isn’t going to work for this one. There’s only one answer: Train her. No matter what her issue is with being on top, there are things you can do to help her become that champion rider ya’ll desire—trust, she wants to be that chick that can make you cum hard.

Apply these tips and remember to remain patient. She’ll get over the hump.

Help Her Chill Out

Women have hangups about their bodies, skills, and how their lovers’ exes performed. Help her just chill out. You can end all of her overthinking by setting the vibe that your intimate time is a space to have fun. It’s not a competition. Encourage her to focus on the moment and nothing else. Ensure her that it’s okay to release any expectations she has for the experience. Sometimes all a woman needs is the word from her partner to let go. Grant her permission to root her in the moment.

Create a Banging Playlist

Music can soothe and excite the senses at the same damn time. Put together a playlist that will take her mind off performance and move the focus to vibing. It’s easier with songs that are rhythmic, so include some mid to slow tempo R&B tracks that are grind friendly. With the right tunes setting the mood, your girl can gain confidence, and control, while in the dominant position.

Stretch It Out

Riding is an aerobic activity, which means it requires stamina and strength. Flexibility is also a game changer. Both parties can maximize their sexual performances by hitting the gym and making sure to stretch prior to getting it popping. Make weekly gym dates. You can also assist her by stretching her out before she gets on top of you—connect it to a massage to make it seamless. Also try stretching her legs out by raising them straight into the air while you stroke in missionary position. Lean forward on them to give her hamstrings some attention. Spread them into a wide V and stretch her hip flexors gently. This is the area where she will experience most of the burning when she is on top. Wrap her legs around your waist and raise her pelvis to help loosen her hips. Take your time and go slowly to make sure you don’t pull a muscle. Oh yeah, and don’t be obvious.

Pump From the Bottom

You may think putting her on top is your time to relax, but this is still a team effort. When she gets on top, raise your pelvis towards her and pump from the bottom. The more assistance you give her, the easier it will be for her to ride you. Take your time and stroke her the way you want her to stroke back. Hold on to her hips and guide her as you stroke from the bottom. Don’t be afraid to give her instructions.

Play With Positions

Place a pillow or two underneath your lower back near your tailbone to angle your body when you lay down. Bend your knees and raise your pelvis into a bridge. Sit on the edge of the bed and have her sit on top of you with her feet placed flat on the bed behind you. Sit in a chair and have her sit in her lap with her back facing you. Experiment with a variety of laying and sitting positions where she is on top of you and remember to take it slow.

Make It Poppin’

No matter what, sex should be fun and there shouldn’t be any pressure to perform a certain way. If your girl doesn’t get the riding down right away, it’s okay. It is going to take practice in order for her to perfect this skill so be patient and have a good time in the process. Laugh at the moments when things get a little weird. Comfort her if she is in pain, and stop the activity. Let her know that you want her to have a good time and that there is no pressure to be perfect. The more fun you’re having, the less stressful this becomes and the closer she can get to reaching that orgasm that often accompanies being on top.

Glamazon Tyomi is CASSIUS’ resident sexpert and a certified pro. Watch her put in work here.