Happy couple sharing cell phone at dining table

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You’re uncuffed. And while it’s not the worst thing, the holidays and occasionally frigid temperatures are a reminder that rolling over to someone whose name you want to remember without a pause might be dope. Where do you find this unicorn? The short answer: probably not at the club.

According to eHarmony, only 2 percent of men and 9 percent of women report finding a mate at a bar or club (hookups are another story). Most end up finding folks they seriously like by getting out and keeping their eyes open when doing things they enjoy— for example, this guy realized he and his fiancee vacationed at the same place as children. Most important, you’ve got to get out of the house.

“He or she won’t be under the Christmas tree. You have to get off the couch, throw on some festive threads and  and hit the holiday event circuit,” says Genese Jamilah, founder of I Don’t Do Clubs, an event and lifestyle website. “Every fraternity, sorority, professional organization, larger companies and social friends have parties to celebrate the season. Take advantage of the plethora of events and get a bae (or at least some options) for the new year.”

Why now? Sponsored and themed events filter attendees, upping the chances of you meeting folks you share common interests with, from career to music to hobbies. Use them. ‘Tis the season to be flirty. Here are a few types of events Genese Jamilah suggests you show up and out at if you’re on the hunt.


1 Charity Work

If you’re looking for qualities like consideration and kindness (at least during the holiday season) and being a good team player, hit up charity drives, soup kitchens, and similar events to mingle with the volunteers.


2 Corporate and Professional Holiday Parties 

Yes, “anyone” can technically end up at a company’s holiday party, but most folks will be there because of personal or professional relationships—which means they are less likely to be on some BS. These are great places to meet savvy professionals who are about their business. This is also the best place to meet a go-getter. Spread your wings and make sure to hit up popular events sponsored by organizations that you are not directly affiliated with to maximize your mingle.



Most folks have a friend, or a friend of a friend, who knows everyone. Make it your business to get to that individual’s holiday happy hour, house party or kickback. This is the place you are most likely to run into that person you’ve been eyeing at your local coffee shop or train station but haven’t had an opening to connect with…yet.


4 Greek Events

Think beyond party strolling and focus on prowling. Greek events are guaranteed to have a concentration of folks who at least made it to sophomore year of college, if you care about that kind of thing. Other qualities that you’ll likely find in folks at these events include valuing community building, varied interpretations of excellence, civic service and…rhythm. It’s all about what matters to you.


5 Black-Owned Holiday Events

From Kwanzaa crawls to pop-up shops, these meet-ups typically have an assortment of folks who want to be flossy but also care about the community and financial empowerment. If you share any of these values, make sure to show up and out.


Find out about events for young professionals across the country at I Don’t Do Clubs

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