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Technology may not be the devil, but it definitely has first or second cousin status. Innovation has made a lot of activities easier in life, from transportation to shopping. But there is something that happens when human contact is removed from the equation. Personal touch impacts how we move as human beings. Whether it’s dealing with an actual real-life flight attendant or store clerk, there are things that are literally lost in translation when the interaction is completely dictated by a computer. The significance of face-to-face contact holds even more weight when it comes to personal matters, such as dating. In fact, studies show that online dating can negatively impact self-esteem, and even cause depression.

Experts believe that the lack of initial human interaction plays a big part in solidifying the connection between individuals, making it easier to reject, neglect and dismiss people—even after meeting IRL. The indifference is compounded by volume. For example, you may meet a group of people in a bar or club and be rejected hard by one or two. But on a dating app like Tinder or Plenty of Fish, you can theoretically “meet” 50 or 100 people in the same few hours, and the rejection is magnified. Here are some of the top self-esteem killers.

Silent Treatment

Not getting a “right swipe” may be hurtful but after a few more swipes you forget the first name and face of the person you didn’t match with. Unfortunately, a big self-esteem killer is when folks match, then never respond to the person he or she connects with. The silence speaks loudly.

One-Date Wonders

You connect with someone online and are seemingly meshing, then go out to dinner, and the vibe is relatively cool. Everything changes the next day. You part ways and then never hear more than a dry “hey” from the individual again. The stillness in your text chain is a constant reminder of perceived unworthiness and leaves the party who is more interested thinking, “What did I do wrong?”


Disappearing is a mofo. It’s particularly easy, and common when people only correspond via text after “meeting” online. The scenario typically goes down like this: You engage in a few dynamic and witty, rapid-fire texts over a few days or weeks, then nothing. One person may reach out, and the response is non-existent. After a few weeks the interested party is left feeling like “WTF?” and seriously doubting his or her ability to connect with others.

Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.