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Passionate couple relaxing on bed at home

Source: Nikada / Getty

Each week, CASSIUS’ resident sex expert Glamazon Tyomi answers questions from readers and clients. This week, she addresses a letter from a man who wants to know how to become irresistible to women.

 

Dear Tyomi,

Can you please tell me how I can get women to have sex with me? Your advice is appreciated.

—Max

Hey Max,

I love that you got straight to the point about what you want to know so I will be frank about how to achieve what you desire.

The first thing you need to know is that you can’t get a woman to do anything. She has to be willing to engage with you intimately, and she is the only one who can that make that choice. You don’t have any control over her decision making.

You do, however, have control over yourself. You can become more attractive to the women you are sexually drawn to by building qualities that make you more desirable: confidence and consistency.

First, always make requests instead of demands. Be direct about what you want without being vulgar or violating personal space. If the woman obliges your request to spend time with you, always make sure she has overtly verbalized her interest. There is no space for innuendos and assumptions when it comes to sex. Whether in a casual or monogamous relationship, women are drawn to men who make them feel secure mentally and physically.

Second, remember sex may be your goal, but it isn’t the only aspect of the woman there is to interact with. Take an interest in her personality and life experiences. Engage in conversations so you can learn more about who she is to create a deeper connection and better sexual experiences.

Third, establishing a more purposeful reason for your sexual experiences with any woman shifts the act from being an objectifying pastime to meaningful interaction. Sex can be used to connect with others, having fun, and even healing. Think about why you want to lie down with any woman before you shoot your shot. Be honest about what you want when you approach her to ensure you vibe with people who share your goal.

Last, remember that women often use their intuition to make a decision about the possibility of being intimate early in the relationship. She will assess your vibe before you even speak. That’s why it’s important to carry yourself with confidence, honesty, and respect.

Hope this little bit helps,

Glamazon Tyomi