It’s been a long time since Love and Hip Hop franchise stars Rich Dollaz and Erica Mena dated, and according to experts the explosive duo has the right formula to ensure they don’t rekindle: trashing each other. Researchers Sandra J.E. Langeslag and Michelle Sanchez of the University of Missouri at St. Louis conducted a study to determine the best way to fall out of love. They gave participants three options to get over their broken hearts: negative reappraisals (reminding yourself how f**ked up your ex was), reappraisals of love feelings (giving yourself room to still love your ex, despite being split) and distractions (hitting the gym, movies, etc…).
The experts found that negative reappraisals were the most effective way to decrease feelings of love. Why? Because you’re basically reprogramming yourself to see your ex sans rose-colored glasses. When you love someone it’s hard to think of that person’s flaws. Even worse, you begin to romanticize your ex as more time passes without seeing each other. If you were in an unhealthy relationship, it’s important to stay focused on the reasons you broke up—even if the split wasn’t really your choice. Did your ex cheat? Steal or spend your money? Abandon you? Selfish AF? Keeping all of the terrible things the person did to you front of mind counters every fantasy you have about reconnecting. A bit negative? Yep. But it’s for a longterm win of moving on.
Break-ups are hard and it’s natural to be down after losing someone who used to be your everything. The best way to bounce back is a full court press. Hit the gym, hang out with your friends and try therapy if necessary. Still, the most important thing you can do is be truthful to yourself about why the relationship didn’t work. If your ex was wack, keep it real and save yourself from prolonged misery.